IS IT REALLY OKAY FOR ONE TO HAVE A BACKUP LOVER?

Shawn

People give different reasons and have different excuses for having a backup lover, and they give themselves every justification to believe that they are doing the right thing.

Having a backup lover points to two major things – uncertainty and greed.

First, when a person is in a relationship where they aren’t sure of their partner, they have a backup partner, so that they won’t be caught off-guard in case anything happens to their main relationship. If you aren’t sure of your partner’s level of commitment towards you, why be in the relationship? A relationship shouldn’t be a do or die affair, it should be an affair between two people who actually care about each other, who are in love with each other and who are committed to each other. If your partner doesn’t fit the bill then it means you are just enduring a relationship you probably shouldn’t be in.

Set your standards, give yourself value, and your partner would value you and be committed to you as well. But when you intend to endure the relationship and have backup lover(s) then it speaks a lot about your person and your relationship.

Secondly, it’s also a matter of greed and selfishness. People have backup lovers because of what they can gain from different partners at the same time. It could be for material and financial gains and it could also be because of sex and pleasure, and all these points to one thing – greed.

No matter the excuse, there is no real reason to have a backup lover. There is no safety in relationship choices; it’s either you have a relationship that you love and cherish or you don’t. Having a backup lover just shows that you don’t totally cherish your relationship. So why be in a relationship that you don’t totally cherish

That’s our take on today’s’ edition of Elcrema Sunday Love Special; do you think it’s really okay to have a backup lover?