IS IT REALLY OKAY FOR ONE TO HAVE A BACKUP LOVER?

Hello everyone, welcome to another edition of Elcrema Sunday Love Special, and as usual, we have a special topic to discuss today.

In September last year, we carried a report from a study which revealed that nearly half of all women have a backup lover, and this report seemed to cause a stir among men.

Yes, it’s actually believable that lots of women have a backup lover, but it isn’t just the women that are involved in having backup lovers, men also have backup lovers or side chics if you may.

But the big question is: is it okay for a partner to have a backup lover?

Drama and Shawn would share their thoughts on this matter.

Drama

Why be with someone if you’re interested in someone else? Life isn’t that complicated; if you’re going to be with someone, be with them, and if you have any doubts about their commitment or seriousness, then, by all means, do not get involved with them in a relationship at all.

There is no rationale behind the idea of having a backup lover. Those who delve into the act do so for other reasons far from commitment and faithfulness; most of them do it just to satisfy their unjust hunger for sleeping with other people while in a relationship. Some also do it because they want to gain materially and financially from the ‘back up lover’, and that’s just how I see the idea, honestly — and it’s quite appalling, really.

It is absolutely deceptive and cowardly to go into a relationship with the thought of having another one simultaneously, because it means that first of all, you do not have faith in what you’re going into. You don’t believe it could become something genuine and happy, so why get into it?

Again, a relationship is built (should be built) on trust so by keeping a backup lover, you destroy the foundation of that relationship. How would it feel to have to look your partner in their eyes, and lie to them over and over again? Someone may ask, “What if along the line in your relationship, you sense that your partner has lost all interest in you?” Well, even if that is the case, it is still wrong to have another lover whilst you’re in a relationship with him/her; instead, confront them about the sudden change in attitude, and if they continue to be cold towards you, quit the relationship before going into another one. That is my stance on this issue.

It is hard enough to maintain one relationship, how much more 2? You don’t even want to entertain the thought, trust me.

Click below to read Shawn’s opinion