So many relationships and marriages have ended because one partner cheated. Nobody wants a partner that can’t keep to the promise of being faithful, and when caught, it’s the sole responsibility of the cheating partner to make up, and the actions of that partner is what might probably lead to the end of that relationship or a continuity in that relationship.
There are so many things that should be done once found in this situation, and it’s not a surety that things would go back to normal or your partner would accept you back — everyone has a different response to infidelity from a partner.
First, no excuses. You can’t get caught and come up with excuses — no matter what, there is no excuse for cheating; you weren’t under duress, it was an act you enjoyed, and so you must take total responsibility for your actions.
It doesn’t just end by taking responsibility, you have hurt your partner by your actions, and that you have to rectify it to a certain extent.
You have to end that affair you were having; you can’t be sorry and still keep that affair, this shows you don’t even value your relationship.
Gentle persuasion is as well needed; those gentle persuasions should go alongside with gifts, some treats that you probably haven’t given your partner in a while and a whole lot. But this doesn’t mean you should be in your partner’s face all the time — your partner might need some space, be ready to give that space, but not all the space, because in situations like these, out of sight might gradually lead to out of mind.
Then openness and sincerity is needed. From this point on there should be no reason to lie, no matter what. You can’t win trust back if you aren’t open and sincere. There should be no reason to lock your phone from your partner, take secret calls or anything of the sort. Regaining one’s trust is one of the hardest things you can achieve, and only by total sincerity can you achieve that.
Then you need patience; you need to be patient with yourself and patient with your spouse. There is no need to rush things else the relationship might crack soon enough. Take all the time you need to build back the relationship or marriage.
At this point, you need to keep your promises as well. If you say you are going to see a friend, it should be so, and make sure you call when you get there. If you have made a promise to your partner, there should be no stopping you in fulfilling it as well. You have to be dependable; you can’t win trust if your ways are still bent and your words go unfulfilled.
You should learn from your mistakes also; not only the mistake of cheating, but other previous mistakes that you were making prior to being caught.
You must be ready to forgive yourself and move on if need be.
It’s also important to ask yourself how much you really want to go back into that marriage or relationship; if you have lost the desire to go back then it’s appropriate you end it rather than causing your partner more pains. Though, you still have to apologize to your partner no matter what.
Shawn