One thing I’ve noticed is that some ladies can’t leave the guys they are dating even if he is violent to them. This usually keeps me wondering; some ladies have ‘literally’ been turned to a punching bag in their relationships and they would still come with one of the most annoying quotes in history; “I love my boo” (what nonsense). I wrote on are you dating a violent man and promised to continue with “why ladies love a violent man”. These are some reasons why some ladies/women can’t leave that ‘woman beater’.
1. FEAR
I talked about fear in the previous post and that’s a reality in domestic violence. Fear can make a lady still love and stick to a guy who has beaten her up several times. Her mind set has become positioned to love and still fear him no matter what. And no matter the advice she receives from friends and family, she still won’t leave.
2. PROMISES
All men involved in domestic violence to women seem to have the same lyrics attached to their tongue; they always promise that they won’t do it again with all sincerity that the woman decides to stay and not leave; and still it happens over and over again. This is just a circle; it keeps going round and round.
3. RELIGION
In marriages, religion is against a woman leaving her man and naturally people are so engrossed to the religion they believe in. This is really a problem because women are bound by their religion not to leave their man and once they are married, she’s now enslaved and seems weak and powerless to do anything because divorce to her isn’t an option. This really is a dicey one and I’m not going to crucify religion here; the only advice I can give here is courtship. If you court a man before marriage, you should be able to know if he’s a violent man or not and when you know he’s violent, bail out of that relationship before you become enslaved to it. This is why I warned against rushing into marriage in why most girls rush into marriage.
4. INFERIORITY COMPLEX
After years or months of abuse, what do you expect? She feels inferior not because she has always had complex issues but because her self-worth has been tampered with and subdued due to violence. She’s scared of leaving the relationship because she feels she might not be appreciated by another man; that is the lie domestic violence says to her and she holds on to it. Even the women with the strongest of hearts can be subdued with domestic violence, even the ones with pride as high as a mountain can be subdued with domestic violence. Domestic violence is one of the worst sicknesses a woman can suffer from, and yes I called it a sickness.
5. FINANCIAL REASONS
“He pays the bills” they say, that is no excuse to hit you, lady. There is no excuse in a man turning himself to an animal and his lady to his prey, definitely no excuse. Because of some financial gains they get in a relationship, some ladies still decide to stick with him at all cost. Maybe they have no one else to help them out from their financial issues but the truth still remains that you are only doing yourself and your prestige more harm than good. Like I mentioned in what a man loves in every woman, the modern man loves a woman that has some financial capabilities; a woman that can fend for herself financially would be respected by men. It’s that simple. Don’t be a “give me everything I want honey” kind of woman and expect not to be given EVERYTHING.
6. CHILDREN
In marriages mostly, women have a soft spot for men solely because of their kids. Women have a soft spot in their heart and can put their kids in mind even before themselves. They tend to endure everything so as not to separate the kids from their father. This really is another dicey one and that’s why courtship is always advised before marriage. If you court a man and study him before marriage, you should be able to know if he’s the violent type or not. There is actually no need rushing into a marriage when you’d end up enduring and not enjoying.
I think most of the reasons are psychological, that’s why it’s advised to ladies to leave the relationship after or even before he attempts to start being violent on you. If you try to endure it, it would only get worse and reach a stage where you’re psyched up to not leave the relationship anymore. Relationship/marriage is not always an antidote to unhappiness.
SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Shawn