It’s a frustrating feeling when your partner pays no attention to you when you want to share your feelings with them! It can destroy a marriage or relationship too, but research has shown that there are reasons this happens, and they come from both you and your partner’s angles; from how you say what you say, to his own personal issues.

Continue reading to discover what these reasons are…


1. You may be taking too long to say what you want to say. Long-winded monologues are boring. Get to the point.

2. You may monopolize conversations with your partner. Give them a chance to talk.

3. You have a history of saying things that are hurtful, insulting, intimidating, dismissive, or disrespectful to your partner’s beliefs and feelings, they’ll likely be protective and defensive by not listening to you. Don’t say these things!

4. If there is a pattern of manipulation in what you say to your partner, they will tune you out. Stop being manipulative. Say what you mean.

5. If your talking style is one of preaching, lecturing, or questioning, your partner may prefer to not hear your lectures or questions. Stop being the professor or attorney in your marriage.

6. You may use too many generalities in your statements. Comments that use words like “always”, “never”, and “constantly” can cause your partner to tune out the entire conversation. Eliminate these words from your vocabulary.

7. Your timing could be off. Your partner probably won’t listen when tired, preoccupied with other thoughts, involved with a project, watching television, or working on the computer. Tell your partner you want to talk and ask if it is a good time. If they say no, don’t get pouty.

8. Any conversations about topics or issues that have been discussed at length previously will cause a partner to tune out. Don’t keep bringing up old issues or topics.

9. Your partner may have grown tired of continued conversations where you complain, whine, or speak negatively. Be more positive.

10. Perhaps you don’t listen to your partner too. Examine how you listen when your spouse is discussing an important topic with you.

11. Your partner may not be interested in the subject you are talking about. May not be bad to ask if this is something they want to talk about.

12. Your partner may be afraid of intimacy. They know listening makes them vulnerable.

13. Your partner may disagree with what you are saying and isn’t open to hearing your side of an issue.

14. Your partner may have listened as much as possible that particular day and is in information overload. Don’t push for more.

15. If you are giving your partner advice or information, it’s possible they believe that they already knows the answer.

16. Your partner may have the habit of racing ahead of what you are saying by thinking of how to respond.

17. Your partner probably thinks that what you have to say isn’t important.

18. Your partner may believe that ignoring what you say will make the issue or situation go away.

19. Your partner simply doesn’t want to hear what you have to say.


Whatever the issue may be, it is in the interest of your relationship to talk about it with your partner. The earlier it’s resolved, the better. No relationship can survive without communication.