Breakups can be good or bad, depending on the circumstances that led up to them. Sometimes, two people can decide on mutual agreement to go their separate ways if their relationship isn’t going as expected. However, there are occasions where the breakup doesn’t happen on mutual agreement, and in situations like this, the outcome of the breakup can be extremely devastating, and if the situation isn’t properly handled, it can create even more trauma for one or two of the parties involved. Therefore, if you’ve just been through a breakup, it is advised that you avoid the following…
1. DON’T BLAME YOURSELF
I think this is where the trauma begins for a lot of people, after a bad breakup. Rather than move on with their lives, and learn from the just ended relationship, they walk around with a feeling of regret and blaming themselves for the way the relationship ended. This is totally wrong. Even if you actually did something so grave that it had to cost you your relationship, blaming yourself isn’t going to change anything. The only thing you can do for yourself is to learn from your mistakes, and hold on to those lessons, so that by the time you eventually enter another relationship, you will be a better person and avoid repeating the same thing(s) that cost you your other relationship. So blaming yourself is the wrong way to go. In fact, by doing so, you’ll only depress yourself, and keep your own self prisoner in your head while the other person is somewhere having fun and moving on to other things.
2. DON’T EVER BE ALONE
It’s very common for one who’s just been through a bad breakup to spend most of their time grieving, and listening to depressing music instead of brushing the pain and heartbreak off, and moving on.
Grieving has never, and will never change anything; all it does is weigh you down even more. Being alone and avoiding public contact just because you lost a relationship isn’t going to do you any good, rather, it’ll keep you from being happy.
After a bad breakup, the ideal thing to do is be in the midst of as many people as you can find. Hang out with friends and family more and party away when you get the chance, and by doing so, you’ll gradually forget the hurt that came with your breakup. I know it is usually tempting to be by yourself, and grieve, but you must fight the temptation. Mingle with many people and see how quickly you’ll be able to forget what you’ve just been through.
3. DON’T SUCK UP TO YOUR EX
There’s a reason your Ex broke up with you— because you’re not as important to them as you once were (sad as it is). So no matter what, you must never go back to them begging for them to give you another shot because they won’t, and if they do, chances are they’ll treat you with far less respect than you deserve. Why would anyone put his/herself in such a pity relationship? Do not ever contemplate the thought! Even if you feel like something you did caused the relationship to end, do not do it, because if they truly still needed you in their life, they wouldn’t have let the situation degenerate to a breakup.
Being single can suck sometimes, I know, but you’re better off alone than going back into a relationship where you’ll have no value. Hold on, and live…love will find you again.
4. DON’T RUSH INTO A NEW RELATIONSHIP
Time and time again, it’s been proven that rebound relationships never work. And this is because someone rushed into the wrong arms without taking their time to assess them.
One of the many bad sides of a breakup is that you’re incredibly lonely, so there’ll be an urge to fall right back into any available arm, especially if the same arms were there to console you in your grieving days. However, you must avoid falling for this urge. It’s not a great idea to fall right into another relationship after you’ve just left one because during that period, you’re not entirely yourself and not mentally prepared to make relationship decisions. You’ll need time to get body and mind back together, so you can reassess your relationship goals, and be better positioned to make the right choice when you have to. If people come to you with a relationship proposal within this time, the best thing to do is ask them to give you time (as much as you’ll need to get your mind thinking straight again), and if they’re really interested, they’ll definitely wait for you. So, there’s no point rushing into a new relationship if you’ve just left one. Give yourself time.
5. DO NOT GIVE UP ON LOVE
Just because it didn’t work out as expected with Mr/Mrs A doesn’t mean it won’t with the next person. I don’t think there’s anyone in this world who found true love without making one or two wrong choices— It’s one of those things that make us human. If everybody gave up on love because it didn’t work out once, then there wouldn’t be as much happy people as there are today. The important thing is to keep living, and hoping for the best. It is also important that on our part, we are more careful when we are faced with the decision of choosing our partners, because our choices will affect us either negatively or positively, depending on how well enough we choose.
Drama
Best thing to feed the mind.