I bet that the moment you saw this post, you had to check the web address again, just to make sure it’s still El Crema. Lol. Well, I knew that the title could have that effect on you, since it’s something a tad different from what you’re used to getting on here; but not to worry, you’re exactly where you want to be — elcrema.com, the best relationship and lifestyle site you can find anywhere. And as much as we admit that we don’t talk about stuffs like this often, it doesn’t mean that we don’t think about it, because that is a part of the reasons we are here, and that is to enlighten you on as many relationship and lifestyle topics as you can think of, so you become a better person.
Yes, sex is good, and an important part of all relationships (both premarital and marital), but is it the ultimate? No! Sex is more complex than a lot of young folks understand, it has its positives and negatives also. If done without care, it can do more harm than good, and that is why it is sometimes discouraged until marriage. On this, I shall be exploring some of the ways that it can affect the life of a person negatively; including both psychologically (mentally) and health wise. These are the reasons why I think you should stay off premarital sex.
1. YOUR VIRGINITY IS A BIG DEAL
As a teenager or a young adult, apart from your parents and close family members, everybody else in your life (especially friends) tends to make virginity seem like this heavy burden that ought to be done away with. There is so much pressure from your circle of friends to indulge in premarital sex, as if to say you’re not really human until you do it, but the moment you actually taste the ‘forbidden fruit’, you realize that it is not as life-defining as you were led to think, and this realization is often followed by regret. There are lots of people who have given away their virginity to the wrong persons due to peer pressure, and today, live in regret.
Sex is exciting, but certainly not as exciting as the feeling that comes from knowing that you’re giving your first time to that special person; the one you’ll be spending the rest of your life with. Nothing tops that feeling, trust me. Your first time should be special, not a memory that’s met with anger and regret. So wait until you’re sure they are the one, before you lose your virginity.
2. MOST DEADLY DISEASES ARE SPREAD THROUGH SEXUAL INTERCOURSE
If you can make time, visit any hospital near you, you’ll see the number of young people who are down with one deadly disease or another as a result of premarital sex — HIV, Herpes, gonorrhea, name it. These diseases are destructive and can lead to infertility, if care is not taken. I’m not saying that married people do not suffer these diseases, but single people suffer them more because they tend to be more promiscuous. Sex is addictive; once you get some, you’ll want more, and you’ll go to any length to get it, even if it means sleeping with anyone that comes your way. The more you have sex outside marriage, the more you expose your health to danger. Even if you have one partner, you’re only sure of yourself, you do not know how many people they sleep with apart from you. So it’s better to be on the safe side, and wait until you get married before you indulge in sex.
3. PREMARITAL SEX CAN HINDER YOUR DEVELOPMENT AS A PERSON
Like I mentioned earlier, sex is a lot more complex than most people understand. If done wrongly (before time), it can ruin a person’s life completely. According to studies, the psychological, social and academic development of young people tends to be hindered once they begin to indulge in premarital sex. Academically, they lose focus and perform badly, and their relations with family deteriorate. This is because their minds are not mature enough to handle the excitement that comes with the territory.
4. TO AVOID FATHERING / MOTHERING CHILDREN YOU DO NOT WANT AT THE TIME
Sex is not there just for pleasure, in fact, that is secondary if you asked me. One of the primary purposes of sex is to make children; so unless you’re looking to make one, you must stay away from it until you’re absolutely ready for that stage of your life. Even using condoms can’t save you from the risk of an unwanted pregnancy because they can get broken at any point. There are too many children out there without a mother or a father (or both), and studies show that they suffer psychologically because of the absence of at least a parent in their lives. Do not add to the list.
5. BREAKUPS HURT MORE WHEN YOU’VE HAD SEX WITH THE PERSON
First of all, I want to say that it is absolutely possible to be in a relationship with no sex; it’s basically about having understanding and making compromise. If you do not want to have sex in your relationship, stick by it. If your partner truly loves you, they’ll definitely respect your decision and wait till marriage, and if they don’t, walk out – you have nothing to lose.
I know it’ll hurt for a while but you’ll get over it eventually. It’s even easier to get over a relationship where there was no sex than one where there was. Research has shown that people tend to hurt over a breakup more if they were intimate. The memories from their past intimate moments tend to make them sadder even after when they’re married to someone else.
So those were the reasons why I think you should wait till you’re married before you have sex.
Drama