Relationship issues are part of almost every relationship out there; but it isn’t the conflicts that really matter, but how you actually handle them.
Many relationships and marriages falter simply because the conflicts in the relationship weren’t properly handled.
These are some useful tips that would help you handle the conflict in your relationships better.
1. The earlier the better. Try to settle your differences on time with your partner before it reaches a stage where it could become extremely difficult to manage.
2. Try not to keep scores or hold grudges against your partner. When you have this in your heart, it would become extremely difficult to control your temper and emotions, and it would be difficult to forgive.
3. Forgiveness is very important in your relationship. Learn to forgive your partner with a clear conscience.
4. Learn to say sorry when you wrong your partner or react badly to a situation; this doesn’t make you a fool, but it shows that you are mature minded and that you value your relationship.
5. No matter how mad you are at each other, never abuse each other and trade insults with each other. Also, never insult each other’s family. This could create a hidden enmity between you and your partner, and things like this are hardly forgotten.
6. Never compare your partner with someone else during a conflict situation or any situation at all.
7. Don’t turn your kids against your partner. Your marriage would definitely crash when you do this; plus it’s an unfair thing to do.
8. Try to understand why your partner was hurt. Empathy is needed in your relationship/marriage; seeing things from your partner’s eyes would help you understand them better.
9. Insults, violence, door slamming and the lot shouldn’t be done when having a misunderstanding with your partner; they only make matters worse.
10. Never let a misunderstanding make you forget the bigger picture — how much you love each other, how far you have come in your relationship/marriage and where you are actually heading to.
11. Communication is still of importance during that trying time. A lack of communication can actually make matters escalate; know how to talk to your partner after an argument — it isn’t only what you say that matter, but how you say it.
12. Don’t try to ward off issues, expecting that it would go away by itself. Face it and tackle it with your partner; unsettled issues and grudges can later come back to hurt your relationship.
13. Stop holding resentment deep within you; you would lose it one day. Learn to tell your partner how you really feel, though it should be well-communicated.
14. Never conclude without finding out your partner’s side of the story; listening to your partner’s side of the story would help you understand the situation better.
15. Try not to mix up past events with present ones; it shows you haven’t gotten over it and it makes the situation more complicated and harder than it ought to be.
16. Never harbour hate in your heart for your partner; your relationship/marriage would never grow when you harbour hatred.
17. Don’t argue or fight in public; it’s unethical and would definitely hurt your relationship.
18. Stop reporting your partner to everyone who cares to listen just because of a little incident. When you always report your partner to your parents, friends, neighbours, colleagues and everybody else, you belittle them and it’s an immature act, not to say the least.
Handling situations better is very important if your relationship/marriage would grow from its current stage. It isn’t the misunderstanding and conflict that’s the problem; it’s how you handle them.
Shawn