It’s important you discuss these things with your partner as they would help give you and your partner a better understanding of what each of you want for the future.
Many issues couples have during marriage could have been avoided if they had communicated their expectations for marriage with their partner.
Do not get married to your partner without having these discussions
1. Before you get married to your partner, you both need to discuss if any of you have an outstanding debt and what plans are in place to pay off the debt.
2. Before you get married, you need to discuss if you plan having children, the number of children you want and when during your marriage you should start trying for children. Don’t assume your partner want kids.
3. You also need to discuss change of name for the lady. It’s wrong to assume as a man that your bride would want to adopt your surname. I have seen a situation where this was an issue; the lady wanted to use her surname and her husband’s surname but the husband wanted her to use just his surname. This scenario would have been avoided if they both had this discussion before marriage.
4. If you and your partner come from different religious backgrounds, it’s important you have this conversation with your partner. Would you be comfortable having a partner with a different religion? What religion do you want your children to be raised in? These are issues you should discuss with your partner.
5. You shouldn’t avoid having a discussion about money before marriage. You both need to have an idea of how much you both earn. Do you want to keep separate bank accounts or do you intend having a joint account?
6. Jealousy has destroyed so many marriages so it’s important you have a discussion about jealousy with your partner. Reveal to your partner if you are a jealous person or not. You should also have a discussion with your partner about the things that make you jealous.
7. You need to have a discussion about how your career would affect family life. Will your job take you away from your family always? What sacrifices do you expect from your partner as you seek to climb the career ladder.
8. Having a discussion about where you intend to live after marriage is also important. You also need to discuss the kind of apartment you intend living in. You shouldn’t also forget discussing how long you intend to stay in a rented apartment before buying your own home.
9. Secrets should also be discussed to avoid regrets in future. It’s important you discuss any secret you might have before marriage to avoid worrying about it slipping out in future and destroying your marriage.
10. Trust is important if you want your marriage to be a success. You should discuss any trust issues you have with each other.
11. Before marriage, you should discuss how you both hope to handle each other’s families and the boundaries both families should have. Family interference is a big problem in marriages and you shouldn’t neglect discussing this with your partner.
Phil