Ask any woman out there if she wants a stable relationship built on love and they would all tell you yes but it surprises me that when they actually choose a guy to be with, it’s not really based on that…they choose the guys that would most likely hurt them. The question is why?

James is in his final year in the university and he has a reputation of sleeping with half of the girls in the university…what a record. He meets Mary who is pretty and tells her he loves her so much and wants to be with her. Mary knows James reputation in school but somehow she feels she would be that girl that would eventually make James faithful and meanwhile there is Ken at the background who is responsible (and a geek too) who wants to be with Mary. Ken is a safe option but Mary would most likely end with James.

Two months later, James dumps her for another girl in the campus and she is hurt. She then blames guys for being wicked and heartless. You also hear her make statements like ‘all guys are just the same…they would never change’ but are all guys really the same? If she had ended up with Ken, they would have still been together but somehow she prefers to be with ‘bad boy’ James even when she knows he is a bad boy.

Gregory Louis Carter of the University of Durham investigated why women do this by using 128 female undergraduates.

Presenting two types of men, one with the Dark Triad personality traits, and the other, a control group, Carter found that the women found the Dark Triad personality more attractive than the control.

The dark Triad personality traits include narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism. According to a research, narcissism that promotes the short-term mating approach women see every day in men; being courted like they mean the world to them, sleep with the women and dump them for the next woman.

When a woman knows a man possesses these traits, why go for him. If a million girls couldn’t change him, why do you think you are the messiah that would change him?

It’s time ladies stop blaming men for their heartbreak and start blaming themselves for their choice of men. You can’t choose to be with a player and expect not to get your heartbroken. Women need to let go of some fantasies they have stored in their head.

Stop trying to be the girl that changes the ‘bad boy’ and only a ‘bad boy’ can change himself. It’s time women get real with their choice of men.

Women tend to treat the men that would mostly be there for them as shit and take shit from a man that doesn’t even care about them. What a world.