We’ve heard it said time and again, even we have had to say those words to those around us as we seek their forgiveness for a wrong done them by us, but what does it really mean to forgive and forget? That statement has been misconstrued by a lot of people, and I’d like to set the record straight.
Before I move on to explain what it really means to forgive and forget, I’d like to say that forgiveness is something we should all try to do every time we’re wronged, and I’m not just saying that because we all deserve forgiveness; everybody deserves a another chance to get it right, and if you can’t forgive, then, you better be ready to not wrong anyone ever. However, that’s not the only reason it’s important to forgive, when you forgive, you do yourself a favour too. Hate and anger only makes you suffer. The more you stay angry, the more you think about the wrong deed, and the more it hurts you inside. I have even gathered that the anger and pain built up from not forgiving has the potential to be cancerous. So forgiveness is necessary not just for the wrongdoer, but for your own good too.
Okay, what does it mean to forgive and forget?
When someone says ‘forgive and forget’, contrary to what some think, it doesn’t mean that you actually forget the wrong done to you. The statement is another way of saying, forgive totally and completely. Complete forgiveness is something that’s lacking in our society today. People only forgive publicly, but deep in them, they’re still very hurt and they continue to feel disdain and anger toward the person. In fact, we have heard people say, ‘I forgive you, but we cannot be the way we were’. Is that true forgiveness? Is it forgiveness if you’re not taking them back to yourself again? I don’t think so. True forgiveness is total and comes with lots of love. You cannot forgive and still hold some grudge against the wrongdoer. If you still avoid them or you still hold back, then, it’s not forgiveness.
True forgiveness is moving on totally from all of it, and that is what it means to ‘forgive and forget’. It doesn’t mean you won’t remember, it means you will, but it still wouldn’t affect the way you feel toward the person. And I know it’s not easy at all, it’s never easy to forgive, especially if it’s a grievous offense, but for your own good and for the sake of peace and love, it’s important to let it go. And no, I’m not saying, forgive a serial cheat or someone who continues to trample on your existence, no, because obviously, that person does not really want what’s best for you, but if the person asks for forgiveness, and you do, and overtime, you find that they’re truly different and changed, there’s nothing wrong with being with them again if it makes you happy.
True forgiveness is a rarity, but it’s something we should all try because it’d make the world a better and happier place.