We’ve all been friend zoned at some point, and it’s never a great thing to experience. Imagine liking somebody so much you want to be with them, yet, they don’t seem to want the same thing, instead, they just treat you like a brother or close buddy. It’s gutting! But the thing about the friend zone is that it’s never really the end. If you get put in there by your interest, you can leave. I know a lot of people who eventually got what they wanted even after being put in what seemed to be the friend zone. In fact, most of the time, the friend zone doesn’t exist; we only assume it does and we’ve been put there.
Sometimes, the reason why you haven’t got the person you want is because you’ve not made the right move(s). The friend zone, as big a deal as it is for some people can be exited with the right knowledge. If you’re in something that looks like one now, then here’s what you need to do…
THINK IT THROUGH. IS WHAT YOU WANT WORTH THE RISK?
Before you decide to go after that friend of yours you claim to have feelings for, this is the first thing you need to give some thinking. There’s a 50% chance you will lose your friendship with that person if you make a move, and it turns out they’re not interested. They’ll end up being disappointed, and could start avoiding you. So you need to weigh it up. Are your feelings worth taking the risk? You’ve been friends with this person for a while, so you should know how they act toward you. Do they show any sign of affection at all to you? If they call you ‘brother’ or ‘sister’, things could be better off left the way they are.
You also need to be sure what you want. Do you want to court or do you just want to get laid? Sleeping with your friend could end up making things more complex for you. So you got to weigh it all up.
TALK TO THE FRIENDS YOU HAVE IN COMMON
If you share friends in common, then, there’s a high possibility your love interest would have shared one or two things about the way she perceives or feels about your person to them. So talking to them could be a good way to know what the odds of you leaving the friend zone are.
It also wouldn’t hurt to talk to your friends about what you want to do, and see what they think about it. If you and that person you want eventually start dating, it could affect your friendship with other persons, because you may not want to discuss certain things with them or hangout as often as before, so it’s important to consult them too.
WATCH THE TIMING
Okay, so you’ve done the above, and you want to go on and tell them how you feel about them, fine, but be mindful of the timing. The most appropriate time to tell a woman or man the way you feel about them is when they’re comfortable around you. Make sure you’re close enough friends and you understand each other well, as well as those things they like and don’t like about dating before you spill it all out; this would help the odds. It’s also important to talk to her when you’re alone without distraction or worry in their mind.
CHANGE THE IMPRESSION
The reason why they see you as a brother or just a friend is probably because you give them every reason to think so. To change that impression, you need to change the way you behave around them. Drop more hints that you like them in a romantic way, make more eye contacts, give them more attention, spend time with them more too, so you get to show them the other side of you. If you hang out with your other buddies, single her out for special attention. Be touchier. Hold her hands on occasions, wrap your arm around her neck or lower back to send signals of what your intentions truly are.
BE VOCAL ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS
Sometimes, we are in the friend zone because we aren’t able to express our feelings to the person we like. If you don’t tell them, they won’t know, so rather than just assume they want you as a friend only, and suffer in silence, take the bold step and tell them you like them. There’s no harm in trial, but be sure to mind the timing like I mentioned earlier.
Don’t let fear of the unknown stop you from being happy. If you apply the aforementioned steps, you should do just fine. Good luck.