What makes a happy marriage? A happy marriage is a product of a happy wife. However, there can’t be a happy wife without a responsible husband. You cannot have what you don’t work to get.
The reason a lot of marriages are in turmoil is because more and more men are failing to treat their wives the way they should be treated.
No one is perfect, we understand, but there has to at least be some conscious effort on the man’s part to make his marriage be as good as it should be.
As we look to make the aforementioned work, we have to look inward and see those things worth changing and setting right in our attitudes and behaviours. Take a look at some of these things…
CRITICISM OF YOUR WIFE
Watch yourself and don’t get caught in the trap of criticising your wife. Choose to see the good in your wife. Compliment her on all the things she does right, and the next time you find yourself wanting to tell her something you don’t like about her, switch it around and pay her a sincere compliment. She would love that.
CONTROLLING YOUR WIFE
Believe it or not, you aren’t always right, and your beautiful wife is actually very good at making her own decisions (and typically she makes very good decisions). So stop feeling like you need to control where she goes, what she does, how much she spends and more.
Instead of stressing about that, work together as a team, encouraging and supporting each other. Let your wife be her own person, and give her wings to fly.
TREATING YOUR WIFE LIKE SHE’S NOTHING
Your wife isn’t an object. She is your wife, your best friend and your queen. She deserves your utmost respect. Always respect her and her body and work on establishing emotional connection and trust before thinking about sharing sexual intimacy with your wife. Sex can be the most unifying, fulfilling and beautiful thing in marriage when you both treat each other respectfully.
INSUFFICIENT ATTENTION TO YOUR WIFE
You have a wife, please don’t forget about her. Don’t be too busy to call her, text her or recognize her when she walks in the room. When you see her, give her a big hug and tell her you love her.
Let her know she is your top priority by putting her first — ahead of work, time with your buddies, or watching that game. Sit on the couch and talk to her. Tell her about your day, your thoughts, your worries, and your funny experiences. It’ll cause your bond to be stronger.
USE OF BAD LANGUAGE
Men, watch your mouth. Work to cut the swearing habit, and remove crude, rude and dirty language from your vocabulary. You may be amazed at all the other words available for use in expressing your feelings.
Your wife deserves to hear words that a gentleman would speak, not a raga-muffin. If you have to, get yourself a grammar enhancement book. Your wife will be tickled pink and others would see you in a better light.
PORN
This is one sure way to ruin your marriage, your life and your future. Simply put, don’t view pornography and let your eyes linger everywhere you go. Look inward and decide to choose a better path. If you are entrenched in the ugly habit of pornography, seek out professional help (there are many great resources to turn to).
Find a counselor who can help you begin the process of becoming free from this addiction. You have to want change for yourself and for those you love. So dig deep and decide what kind of life you really want.
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS OF YOUR WIFE
The last thing your wife needs to hear is that she doesn’t measure up to your unrealistic expectations. Please don’t compare your wife’s body, budgeting skills, or parenting skills to so-and-so down the street. Your comparisons will, over time crush her self-esteem.
Decide to be kind, to be patient, to be forgiving and to be flexible. The more you emphasise all of her positive qualities, the more she will naturally start living up to those positive compliments and become the woman you describe, and more.
NOT HELPING WITH HOUSE CHORES
You may bring in half the income or all of it, but that doesn’t mean you can chill on the couch while your wife cleans, tidies and washes dishes day-in and day-out. Kick it up a notch and offer to help out. Clean the toilet, carry in the groceries or unload the dishwasher.
You and your wife are a team and ought to work side by side in creating the home of your dreams.
QUICK TO ANGER
You are a grown man. Yelling at your wife is not appropriate, effective or helpful. Hitting is completely off limits. Rage, lashing out, throwing things and threatening are all forms of abuse.
You can learn to control your temper. You can learn to respond calmly and with love. As you do, your wife will feel safe with you and love being around you.