It’s normal for couples to have quarrels in a relationship; it’s absolutely difficult for two people to be together and not have a slight misunderstanding. But when such quarrels become frequent then it means something is wrong and something has to be done else the relationship would collapse.
Quarrels could destroy a relationship, and frequent quarrels would frequently drop seeds that would rapidly destroy a relationship. Quarrels drop bitterness in the hearts of people, so it’s far from needed in every relationship. If you don’t stop the quarrels in your relationship, it would definitely stop the love from flowing and kill your relationship all the more.
Six ways to stop those quarrels from coming thick and fast;
1. BE ATTENTIVE
One surprising thing I’ve noticed is that little things cause major quarrels in a relationship; when you are in this sort of relationship just be attentive for once and think deep of all the quarrels you and your partner has, and then you would know the cause of all the hiccups in that relationship. It all starts with knowing; knowing the cause of a problem is the first step to solving that problem.
2. AVOID THE CAUSES
Knowing the causes of the frequent quarrels is the first step but knowing them without acting on them is a big ‘f’. When you have known the little things that easily cause quarrels in your relationship, try as much as possible to avoid them; it may be difficult but it’s worth it. When you start avoiding those conversations and the lot that usually stirs up quarrels and anger, your relationship would change over time.
3. PUT YOURSELF IN YOUR PARTNER’S SHOES
I bet this is one thing everyone in a relationship talks about “can’t he think of me?” or “can’t she put herself in my shoes?” Every relationship partner has this mentality that their partner doesn’t place themselves in their shoes. But sometimes, if only we can all think of our partners a little and not ourselves maybe we might just see reason with them, and once this is achieved there would be understanding. Most times a relationship’s problem isn’t lack of love but lack of understanding and this causes frequent quarrels.
4. FORGIVE
Yes, forgiveness is always important; don’t mince forgiveness, forgive fully. An unforgiving heart would always hold back and would only see the bad and not the good; unforgiving nature has a way of blurring our hearts and eyes from seeing the good in a person, and this would only lead to frequent quarrels. When you hold back something against your partner, your relationship would never grow no matter what; sometimes this is the cause of most quarrels in relationships and you wouldn’t even know; you might just keep blaming your partner when you are totally at fault.
5. THINK BEFORE TALKING
Words hurt, sometimes even more than a bullet; sometimes people say things they don’t mean or they don’t understand and it can hurt that partner of yours. Words carry a lot of weight, so before talking always think of every word you speak rather than just talking ceaselessly; if you can achieve this then frequent quarreling might just be a thing of the past.
6. IS IT WORTH IT?
This is one question everyone should ask one’s self before an argument or quarrels; is it worth it? If the quarrel would amount to nothing then your quarrels would just be a waste; if you have been using quarreling as a way to solve the problems in your relationship and it hasn’t achieved anything then it’s time you change strategy.
Quarreling would never bring any good to your relationship; sometimes, silence can solve what quarrelling won’t, sometimes only a lady’s tears would change a man’s heart rather than her shouts, sometimes only a man’s attention is all a lady needs to stop all her shouting in the relationship.
Remember, there are other better ways than quarreling.
Shawn