Dating for marriage, which can be called premarital relationship, is very important. Dating for marriage would help you set the tone for a successful marriage.
A lot of people just date and get married without actually dating for marriage and this is a major reason why marriages fail in the first place. Dating for marriage prepares both partners for marriage — and if couples aren’t prepared, they might fall out easily.
You may be wondering how one date for marriage and what dating for marriage really means. These tips below would give you better insight.
1. BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT IN A PARTNER
Everyone is attracted to certain qualities in a partner, and everyone have certain qualities that they deem important in their partner. One important step to dating for marriage is honesty; be honest and open to your partner about what you really want. With this your partner knows what you want.
2. BE OPEN ABOUT WHAT YOU AREN’T COMFORTABLE WITH
People suffer in silence in their relationships; they hide their disgust at some habits of their partner that they aren’t comfortable with. If you carry such attitude into marriage, you would definitely implode after a while, and your marriage wouldn’t be a happy one in the long term. If you hate the fact that your partner is a smoker or is dirty or whatever, be open about it. Don’t hide in silence just so as to get married to that person — the repercussions would be drastic. You would always reach that point where you can’t take it anymore.
3. KNOW THAT WHAT YOU DON’T CHANGE WHEN DATING, YOU SHOULDN’T FORCE WHEN MARRIED
This is another mistake people make when dating, they pretend to be okay with certain habits of their partner and try to change their partner when married. In all honesty, this is being unfair to your partner if your intention isn’t made known earlier. You cannot force your partner to change what you didn’t try to change when dating.
4. SET BOUNDARIES
Relationship isn’t marriage! Relationship isn’t marriage! Relationship isn’t marriage! No matter how in love you are with your partner, your relationship with that special someone isn’t marriage. Set your boundaries, especially in things you don’t want. If you are against pre-marital sex then set your boundaries; if you are against late nights out, set your boundaries.
4. BE FAITHFUL
Cheating isn’t an act you stop overnight; a lot of people don’t stop when dating with the hope that they would stop when married. Such people end up being wallowed in adultery. When you date for marriage, you ought not to cheat on your partner.
5. REMEMBER THAT YOU AREN’T STILL MARRIED
A lot of people try to live like they are married when they are just dating. You can date for marriage, but there is still a wide contrast between dating for marriage and being married. Do not put a leash or try to control your partner when dating, because at the end of the day you are only dating.
6. KNOW WHAT YOUR PARTNER WANTS
The first and second tip talks about being open about what you want in your partner and what you aren’t comfortable with as well. You should turn the table around and also know what your partner wants and what your partner isn’t comfortable with. This particular tip is an important etiquette of dating for marriage.
7. BE COMMITTED
Commitment is a must when dating for marriage. Every form of nonchalance should be purged out of the relationship. If you can’t be committed to each other then I wonder what you are doing together.
8. INTRODUCE EACH OTHER TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS
You become more committed to each other when your family and friends know that you’re serious about each other.
9. DON’T FORGET TO IMPROVE YOURSELF
You might be in love, your partner might completely accept your flaws, but is shouldn’t end there. You owe your partner your best, so always give in your best to improve yourself and reduce your flaws. Your partner would love you more when you do this, and your relationship would be totally prepared for marriage.
10. DON’T LET SEX MISLEAD YOU
Sex can be misleading; sex can make infatuation seem like love. You might be having good sex with your partner, but don’t let it take the place of how you honestly feel. If you enter a marriage that has been merely built on quality sex then your marriage would definitely crumble when it reaches a stage where that won’t mean much.
11. NO RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT
There is no perfect person, no perfect relationship and no perfect marriage. Don’t expect because you’re in love and have a good understanding that those hiccups wouldn’t come up eventually. They would eventually come but you shouldn’t let it get the better of you.
12. BE FAIR
When you date for marriage, try to be mature, be an understanding partner and make compromise where necessary. This makes things easier and builds a path for a better marriage.
13. GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER IN AND OUT
It isn’t advisable to marry someone you don’t know; try to know each other in and out when dating for marriage. When you do this, you understand each other more, you know your partner better and you have a cohesive relationship. It’s easier to know what to expect from marriage with your partner when you know each other thoroughly, and it’s also easier to know how to treat your partner better.
14. ASSESS AND EVALUATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
People get married just based on how they feel and they forget to evaluate other aspects of the relationship. You might love your partner and your partner might love you too, but it doesn’t end there. Evaluate your relationship to see how compatible you really are and know the level of understanding you’ve reached. Believe me, if your relationship with that person is filled with chaos, quarrels and misunderstanding then your marriage might even be worse.
15. BE FUTURISTIC
Your relationship when dating for marriage should go beyond mere ‘I love you’ talks. Talk about the future with your partner and ask questions when concerned. Talk more about deeper issues and your relationship would be better for it.
16. BE TRUSTWORTHY
Trust is also another important aspect of dating for marriage. Be trustworthy, live an open life, curb unnecessary jealousy and your relationship would be better for this and could lead to an even better marriage.
17. MARRY BECAUSE YOU’RE RIGHT FOR MARRIAGE
This is the last tip, but definitely not the least. It’s important to know why you are getting married. Marry for the right reasons, marry because you’re sure, marry because that’s what you really want and you’re with who you really want. This tip might even be more important than the rest because a lot of people marry for the wrong reasons.
With these 17 tips, your relationship would be more prepared for marriage. Don’t just jump into marriage without dating for marriage.
Shawn