If you are looking for a marriage or relationship without blemish, you probably need to go to utopia. It’s almost impossible for two humans to exist without having a little misunderstanding. Couples fight; this is a normal part of a relationship. Sometimes you have to argue to understand each other.
Having a fight with your partner isn’t really the problem, but it’s how you fight and how you handle it that matters most.
Conflicts easily stir up strong feelings, so certain rules should be followed so things don’t get out of hand. If properly handled, conflicts can strengthen your relationship and improve understanding between you and your partner.
Have you been fighting unfairly with your partner? These are some rules to observe:
1. AVOID SHOUTING AND YELLING
When there’s conflict, tempers are bound to get high, and if things aren’t properly handled, the conflict might escalate.
Shouting and yelling at your partner would only worsen things. It’s impossible to communicate when you shout and yell.
2. AVOID USING ABUSIVE LANGUAGE
Name calling, insults and abuses only show a disregard and disrespect for your partner. Using abusive language when having a quarrel with your partner would only make matters worst. This should be avoided at all cost.
3. RECOGNISE THAT NO ONE IS PERFECT
I haven’t seen that one perfect person in human skin; have you? No one is perfect; even though we strive to be perfect, we all have our little flaws and issues which make us human at the end of the day.
With this understanding, you should cut your partner some slack for making some mistakes. You aren’t perfect, and neither is your partner.
4. AVOID STOCKING UP PAST ISSUES
When couples have a fight, they tend to bring up past issues — and this is where the issue lies. If you feel you have unsolved issues with your partner, it should be brought up later, not at that moment when you are trying to solve a present issue. Try to stay in the present when having a fight with your partner.
5. BE FLEXIBLE
Imagine a situation where you are hell-bent on something and your partner is hell-bent on another; it would be almost impossible to solve that situation. So try to be flexible, be empathetic and see things from different angles.
6. TRY TO SPEAK ONE AFTER THE OTHER
Communication is highly important when trying to solve a misunderstanding with your partner, and you can’t communicate properly when you both talk at the same time. When you speak one after the other, you both hear each other out, and this makes it easier to solve that situation.
7. DEAL WITH ONE ISSUE AT A TIME
You can hardly make any progress when you try to solve so many issues at the same time. Try to deal with one issue at a time, and when one is fully resolved, you can move on to another.
8. AVOID BLAME GAMES
Blaming your partner would hardly solve the issue on ground; worse still, it might escalate matters. When you blame each other, you only double the trouble.
9. AVOID MAKING THREATS OF QUITTING THE RELATIONSHIP
It’s unfair to your partner to threaten to leave just because of a misunderstanding. Partners use this tactic to score point, but a relationship isn’t a place to score point; you only ruin your relationship when you do this.
In the heat of the moment, never threaten to quit on your partner; it would be difficult to rebuild the trust after this.
10. AVOID PHYSICAL FORCE
Punching, slapping, hitting or any form of physical force should be avoided during an argument. You shouldn’t hurt your partner just because you can. When you take things to this extent, you not only disrespect your partner, but you put them across harm’s way.
Learn to control your temper or even take a walk than resort to hitting your partner.
Fighting fair is very important if you want to overcome your relationship problems.
Shawn