In most relationships, when our partner behave in ways we really don’t like and appreciate, what we mostly do is confront them about that annoying attitude and hope they change. Psychologists call this tactic “partner-regulation attempts”. But is speaking up when our partner’s behaviour upsets us always good for a relationship?
According to a recent research by relationship researchers Levi Baker and James McNulty, some partners may not respond well to confrontational partner-regulation tactic, reports Psychology Today.
According to the new research, while partners with low levels of depressive symptoms would be motivated to change their behaviour when their partner acts in a confrontational manner, partners with high levels of depressive symptoms would be less motivated to change their behaviour if their partner uses a confrontational manner.
Interestingly, those with high levels of depressive symptoms were more motivated to change if their partner uses a more benevolent manner instead of a confrontational method while those with low levels of depressive symptoms are less likely to be motivated to change their problematic behaviour if their partner uses a benevolent manner.
So understanding who your partner really is very important when you are trying to change their problematic behaviour. The confrontational manner won’t work with every one if you are trying to change your partner’s problematic behaviour. Sometimes being more benevolent in your approach could be key.
Phil