What is jealousy? A lot of people have different views of the subject. Some say it is evil, some say it is a show of insecurity, and others say it’s hate in a different form. But are they spot-on? What does Wikipedia have to say? Here’s how it defines the subject: “Jealousy is an emotion; the term generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, concern, and envy over relative lack of possessions, status or something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a comparator.”

From the given definition, we can agree that jealousy is an emotion that usually arises as a result of fear and insecurity. For every jealous behaviour, there’s love somewhere in between. If I love you, I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want to share you, and I don’t want to be without you for anyone. There’s that need to guard and protect what you consider yours from people you consider a threat.

The manner people handle the feeling of jealousy sometimes can be a little over the top, but in all honesty, it’s still all love. Can you imagine being with someone who doesn’t care how other men behave around you? Would anyone in love feel loved if that happened? I doubt it.

Possessiveness and jealousy are some people’s own way of showing they care and love you too much. The feeling is innate in all humans, although there may be instances where jealousy is triggered by the kind of vibe one gets from their partner. Sometimes you have someone you care about, and you trust them totally until you notice they don’t actually act ‘taken’. On an episode of my radio show, I had someone call and tell me her man was “too jealous.” I asked the type of relationship she had with other guys in her life, and she said she actually has a lot of them as besties, and they sometimes would play as though they were lovers. And I immediately told her she was the cause of her man’s insecurities. You cannot have a partner in your life and behave as though you were still not taken. It would spring up insecurities because your partner is human. As long as there exists real love in their heart, jealousy is irrepressible.

I have said that as normal as it is to feel insecure and want to protect your loved one when one senses danger, we sometimes blow it all out of proportion. What makes a true adult isn’t the emotions you feel, it is how you take them in, and handle them. I know people who have gone to extreme extents while ‘expressing’ their fears and insecurities. People have been maimed, manhandled, and sometimes killed because of an inability to handle the feeling of jealousy. It isn’t exactly easy, but if we all could just breathe and perhaps talk more than we react, there wouldn’t be more sour jealousy- triggered stories.

Jealousy is natural and real, but it doesn’t have to be blown out of proportion. Maturity and understanding are important traits everyone in a relationship should imbibe.



  1. okay i agree with this article. Thumbs up 🙂

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