A lot of emphasis has been placed on love; why you should get married to someone you love, how to fall in love the more with your partner, how to keep the love burning in a relationship/marriage etc. But how about understanding?
Why don’t people get married to someone they can understand and someone who can understand them? Why don’t people try to build the understanding in their marriage and keep it going? Why does understanding have to come second place?
Many people get married to whom they love, but they don’t really get married to whom they understand; people don’t value understanding anymore, it’s more about love and attraction. While I still believe that love is highly important, I tend to believe that understanding is even more important than love.
Many relationships have broken up and many marriages have been torn apart, not because they don’t love each other, but because they don’t understand each other.
Ordinarily, every fight between two partners isn’t as a result of a lack of love, but it’s a lack of understanding. The more couples tend to understand each other, the less fights and quarrels they’d have. You can also say that the more couples fight and quarrel, the less love and attraction they feel for each other. However, understanding can make love grow; the more understanding you have with someone, the better relationship you have with that person. So, love can get better when the understanding is better.
I still believe that love is important and should be paramount as far as relationships and marriage are concerned, but understanding is what makes everything tick; I call it the deciding factor, and in a way, I feel it’s more important than love.
If you want longevity in your marriage and relationship, you shouldn’t just chase after love and attraction — make sure that understanding is in the mix.
Shawn