IS MARRIAGE REALLY A MUST?

In Africa, it’s a general consensus for everyone to get married once they come of age. Marriage is more like a must; it completes the chain of self-fulfillment if I may say.

At a certain stage, parents pressure their children especially the female ones to get married; some are even ridiculed for the fact that they aren’t married.

This brings us to the question “is marriage really a must?” Is there really fulfillment in marriage and nonfulfillment outside it?

This is another Elcrema Sunday Love Special, and the topic for today is; is marriage really a must?

I would be baring my mind on this one with Drama and this is definitely another educating one in our Love Special series.

Is marriage really a must?

Read Drama’s opinion on the matter

DRAMA

You ask, “Is marriage a must?” I ask, is sex a must? Because in everything we do as humans, there is freewill. We are always presented with at least, two options in our dealings in life; whichever one we chose, we get to live with. We have the right to either have children or not, we have the right to either have sex or not, so why can’t we also chose not to marry if that’s what pleases us as individuals?

Marriage is no doubt, a good thing because even the bible says, “He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtains favor from the lord”, but this doesn’t mean that everyone has to get married. Marriage is no ordinary relationship that people can jump in and out of randomly or at will; marriage is sacred, it is special and so requires that adequate care is taken in making the choice of whom to be with. It is only here in Africa that people make a big deal out of marriage. When a person ‘comes of age’, he is unnecessarily put under pressure to get married, even when they do not desire to do so. This is wrong because it can lead one into making a wrong choice and one they’ll live to regret.  We Africans see marriage as the ultimate thing a person can do in his/her life and I find this very amusing. I was listening to the radio one day when I heard someone saying that marriage is the pride of a woman. You can imagine my disappointment at the statement, how could an educated person say something so empty and unreasonable? If marriage is the pride of a woman, what happens to personal accomplishments and goals? There are women who struggle so hard and sacrifice almost everything to achieve other goals like Degrees and their dream businesses/jobs—is there no pride in such achievements? It is people like that that have kept Africa in the Stone Age through such misinforming statements.

Like I said earlier, marriage is a good thing, but only if you desire it. You do not have to get married to feel accomplished as an individual, there are other ways you can achieve that feeling. Some people get married just because they want to have children, now, what happens when the kids finally come? They start cheating on their spouses? If children are what you really want, you can have them without going on the Altar to take an oath. There should be a clear definition of choices, so as to all the regrets and tears that follow a wrong decision. Marriage should be because you feel completed by a person, and you want to spend the rest of your life with them, not because you want to have children or because you want to fit into the image the society has created for you. I was chatting with a friend on BBM (we were talking about the significance of marriage in modern African Societies), and I told her, “There is no law written down anywhere that a woman must get married, you own your life, and you decide what to do with yourself. If you desire to get married, do so when you feel the time is right…with the right person. And if you do not find the right person for you, go about living your life normally; be happy and enjoy your life. Do not let the society or anyone put you under unnecessary pressure because at the end of the day, you are on your own”. I want more people to embrace this thought pattern, including the male folks; don’t rush into marriage because you’re the only son, and your parents want you to keep the family tree alive. You own yourself, and you do what you please with yourself. Freewill is the greatest gift humanity has; do not sacrifice it for anything or anyone…not even for your parents.

Click below to see Shawn’s opinion

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