sad couple in bed

Hello everyone, welcome to today’s Elcrema Sunday Love Special. Today’s topic focuses on sex, in marriage especially. Is it okay for a woman to tell her man ‘not tonight please’ as regarding sex?

A lot marriages experience recurring issues and grudges just because one partner refuses the other sexual intimacy. Sometimes the reverse is even the case; the woman might be the one who wants a moment of intimacy with her man, and he just might not be in the mood — is it okay to say no?

Drama and Shawn would share their views on this tricky subject. You can as well join in on the debate.


S*x is an activity between two people with mutual consent. What this means is that both partners must be willing to do it before you can really call it ‘sex’. In the absence of one person’s consent, it becomes rape. Now, by implication, this means that either party (in this instance, the woman) in the relationship or marriage has every right to decide not to concede to the sexual desire of the other.

Now, there are a couple of justifiable reasons why a woman can deny her partner s*x. First of all, it could be due to differences in mood at the time. We are all different, and our bodies react to things differently. The man may have the urge to have s*x, and the woman may feel differently about it. In such a situation, the woman has every right to say ‘no’. A real man, with genuine intentions for his woman should be able to understand, and see things from her point of view. Rather than try to force himself on her or be unhappy about it, he is expected to talk it over with her, and see what could be the reason for her reluctance towards s*x at that time, especially, if such behavior isn’t common with the woman. Depression and stress can affect a person’s s*x drive. So, talking it over is always the recommended approach.

And then, there is the other ground upon which a woman can deny her partner sex, which is menstruation. It is common knowledge that that time of the month can be difficult for a lot of woman — this can also affect their drive for sex because during that time, they’re in a little of discomfort, and they’re trying to get through it all. So their moods and general disposition to certain things (including s*x) are somehow affected. These are some of the possible reasons why women may want to refuse their man sex. And of course, I’m Just putting this out there so the male folks understand that most of the time, when it happens, there’s a reason.

However, the bottom line remains that anybody has the right to either have s*x or not, be it a man or a woman. It’s a thing of choice, and the mind. If one feels like they’re not up for it, they can say ‘no’.

Click below to read Shawn’s opinion