Hello to all our fans, regular readers and followers of our bi-weekly column — the El Crema Sunday Love Special; a segment where every major and minor relationship issues are discussed.
Today’s topic isn’t just about men marrying wives who are lazy to do the chores, but both ways. Avoiding or refusing to help with chores is a cause of many regular relationship quarrels; this happens as a result of one partner’s nonchalance to house chores, leaving a bulk of the burden to the other partner.
The big question is: can you marry such a partner? And if you do, would you take it in good faith?
Drama and Shawn would tell us what they feel about chores and sharing the workload with their partner?
DRAMA
I think it is inappropriate for anyone to not want to help their partner in performing tasks at home because that is the very basis for a relationship (marriage) — to support and share. Whether you’re a man or a woman, unless sick, nothing exempts you from doing the chores in your own house. Not even a 9 to 5 job is good enough an excuse for anyone to not help out with the house chores because I know a lot of people who have very busy work schedules and still find time to partake in the work in the house. If you work Monday to Friday, then Saturday and Sunday should be reserved for helping the family with some of the house chores.
I know that there are cultures that permit the man to leave everything to the woman, but in my opinion, that is very wrong (with all due respect). A marriage is a union of two free people, so for no reason should any one of the parties be treated as the lesser person. Being her husband does not mean that you’re better or more powerful than she is; it just makes you the man in the relationship, which for me, is even the very reason why you should offer her more support and help in whatever sense you can imagine. And as a woman, I think that it is irresponsible for you not to do anything in your matrimonial home just because you have a husband who would rather do everything. There should be an allocation of duties in every home, with both partners partaking fully in their discharge.
The good thing about sharing or doing these chores together, which most people fail to realize is that it helps to strengthen the bond between couples that buy into it because it provides the opportunity for them to spend more time together. It also shows understanding, care and support on the part of each partner. A partner who doesn’t want to share in the chores is simply unreasonable, selfish, and irresponsible if you ask me, and that is not the type of person anybody should end up with in marriage. Man or woman, you must do some of the chores in the house — the dishes, the laundry, cleaning…anything to show that you’re a part of the home. Support doesn’t only come in form of money or emotions; it is shown in many ways; even via such ‘little’ things as actively participating in the performance of the house chores. Some couples with grown up children find time to help with some of the chores because they understand how important it is for the bonding of the family. So like I said, a partner who is not up for sharing in the house work is not fit for marriage, and I’m not just saying this because I’m a man, I still wouldn’t have it another way if I weren’t.
Click below to read Shawn’s opinion