When a couple says “I do”, they don’t expect that their marriage would lead to divorce; they expect a happy ending filled with love and togetherness. But in many cases, many couples get tired of each other just after a couple of months of being married; and between 1 to 5 years, a lot of marriages suffer divorce.
Why is this the case? How can two people who promise to love each other forever decide to change?
1. YOU GET CONSUMED WITH OTHER THINGS
Many couples get consumed with other responsibilities that they forget each other in the process; it could be their kids, career and so many other so-called important things. When you place anything above your marriage, your marriage would begin to suffer.
2. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
Many couples enter their marriage with unrealistic expectations; they expect a perfect romance, a perfect partner and so many other unrealistic expectations. When these expectations aren’t met, it could cause a problem.
3. FIGHTING OVER EVERYTHING
Maturity is a big trait that would make your marriage better. When couples fight over everything, this could be dangerous for their marriage, and it wouldn’t take too long for other negative things to start feeling their hearts.
4. CONTEMPT AND GRUDGES
A four decades study by Dr. John Gottman found that contempt is the number one predictor of divorce.
It’s normal for couples to argue and have misunderstanding, but if these arguments and misunderstanding aren’t solved properly, it could lead to contempt and grudges. When these two start to build, your marriage would be breeding divorce slowly.
5. YOU CAN’T FIX YOUR PROBLEMS WITHOUT A FIGHT
If you always have to fight before solving a problem, your marriage would be headed for doom. This would easily plant negative thoughts and feelings that could lead to divorce.
6. YOU STOP DOING THE SMALL THINGS
Those small things matter a lot, and when you stop doing them, your marriage would suffer.
When you stop doing the small things like being there for each other, giving each other attention and affection, going on dates and spending time together, your marriage would suffer. These small things matter a lot, and a lack of these could create a pathway for the feelings that bring divorce.
7. YOU EXPECT YOUR PARTNER TO FIX THINGS
This is another problem many couples should be wary of. When you expect your partner to fix things and your partner expects you to fix things, you ought to be careful here because this would lead to accumulation of unsolved problems.
8. YOU GET TOO COMFORTABLE
In other words, you get nonchalant, and nonchalance would make you forget to show each other how much you truly love each other. Getting too comfortable would make you forget to treat your partner right, getting too comfortable would make you complacent in doing your responsibilities. Getting too comfortable would ruin the love and affection you have for each other, and if you aren’t careful, problems might begin to build.
9. THE ROMANCE DIE
Many marriages start heading towards divorce when there is no longer that spark and affection. Instead of couples to fix this problem and bring back the spark in their love life, they complain and make things worse; they blame each other and choose not to accept responsibilities or even play their own part.
These nine things aren’t healthy for your marriage; read 7 ways to protect your marriage from divorce.
Shawn