There’s no one family that’s 100% happy always. There’ll be issues and challenges from time to time, however, the thing is, they can be reduced to a bare minimum, and relative peace can be maintained. Here are some tips that should help you have that happy family you desire.
1. Split the chores and responsibilities equally between the two of you. You’re a couple. No one is bigger than the other, therefore, when it comes to dividing the chores at the house, it should be done to favour both of you equally.
2. Learn to agree to disagree. It’s sometimes impossible for two different people to have similar opinions. We’re different, so opinions may vary; because they’re with you doesn’t mean they’re expected to agree with everything you say. Learning to agree to disagree allows for more peaceful coexistence.
3. Cut the cussing to a minimum. You’ll argue sometimes, to be honest because you’re both human, however, never allow your emotions get the best of you. Because you’re angry and pissed doesn’t mean you should forget they’re still the love of your life. Be more objective in your criticism, don’t allow emotions get in the way.
4. See problems — boredom in the bedroom, lack of conversations, resentment — as symptoms and treat those symptoms just as you would treat a chronic illness that seemingly has no cure. Throw at it every possible remedy you’ve got, no matter how alternative or weird it seems. Chances are one or more of them will actually work and your marriage will get stronger and stronger.
5. The biggest waste of effort in a marriage is trying to change your spouse, since the problems you have with your spouse are generally problems you have in yourself. When you try to change your spouse you come across as a nag and wind up sending the message that ‘who you are is not enough.’ Nobody likes getting that message, and it leads to distance and polarization. Let your spouse be who he or she is and focus on changing yourself.
6. Learn to listen. This is especially for men. Women appreciate being heard and listened to. Sometimes, the reason she nags is because she wants to pour out her heart. Instead of arguing (which would cause things to drag on unnecessarily), just hear her out.
7. Be more touchy and feely. Research consistently shows that touching more creates a stronger bond by releasing oxytocin. Hold hands, rub shoulders, hug, kiss, give high-fives or even fist-bumps or bottom pats. When you give a quick hug or kiss, try to lengthen it to at least 5 or 10 seconds for more effective results!
8. If your goal is to have a satisfying marriage with longevity, make sure you are accountable for the part you play in the relationship. When you are in denial about your part in the relationship then you are no better than a child flinging sand at another child in a sandbox. When you take responsibility for your part in the marriage, only then will you be able to connect with your partner in a mature, intimate way.