It’s very normal for an ex to want you back after reflecting on his/her actions or after missing you or finding out that you left a huge space in their lives. But is going back to that ex really worth it?
In a previous article, I mentioned why getting back with an ex might only be a waste of time, and truly it is most times. But on some occasions it works, only, if the right decision is made after looking at certain considerations.
These six things should be considered:
1. THEIR REASON FOR COMING BACK
It shouldn’t just be about your ex coming back, but why your ex is coming back.
Is your ex coming back because he/she is lonely and need companionship? Or because of a breakup with another partner? Or because your ex has realised his/her mistakes and is coming back to make things better?
You ought to know the reasons why your ex is coming back, and your ex should be totally honest and sincere before you even give it thoughts.
2. THE REASON FOR THE BREAKUP
The reason for the breakup is an even more important question that should be asked and put into serious consideration. Was it because of perennial fights and issues that kept disturbing the peace of the relationship? Did your ex have an affair?
If it was incompatibility issues which led to frequent fights or quarrels then going back to that ex might not be a wise decision except certain ways on how to solve those issues are discussed. If it was for cheating, it’s another tough decision too, because most cheats still continue in their cheating ways.
But, if your breakup was for minor issues that you are both willing to fix, then you can contemplate going back to your ex. However, the first two reasons earlier mentioned are high risk situations that may crash your relationship again.
3. HOW SERIOUS WAS YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
Was it a serious long-term relationship that ended because of slight differences? Was it a relationship where you were both madly in love with each other; then it could be easier to address the little issues and find a way forward. But if your relationship was a nonchalant one, a sexual relationship or a relationship where one partner wasn’t committed then you going back to that relationship is risky.
4. WOULD YOU TRUST THAT EX AGAIN?
For that relationship to be successful you have to trust your ex again and your ex has to do a lot to gain your trust. If you don’t trust your ex and your ex isn’t trustworthy then there is no need contemplating that relationship again.
5. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR EX?
Your feelings, your emotions and your perception about your ex should be put into serious consideration. If you have grudges against your ex, you hate or ex and you still feel hurt or terrible seeing that ex, then never contemplate going into that relationship.
But if you still have feelings for your ex, your ex has feelings for you and other things mentioned in this article are considered and the answers are favourable, then you can go back to that ex.
6. HOW FAR WOULD YOUR EX GO TO WIN YOU BACK?
If you must go back to an ex after considering every other points mentioned in this article, your ex has to be willing to go the extra mile to win you over. Trust me, it shouldn’t be easy, especially if your ex didn’t do enough to keep you in the first place. The length your ex is willing to go would only reveal how much they want and value that relationship with you.
7. HAVE YOU MOVED ON?
If you are in another relationship or your mind has moved on from your relationship with that ex, then never go back to that relationship. Never go back to an ex or a past relationship merely on sympathy; if your heart isn’t there, it would never work.
8. DISCUSS
If you have considered every factor mentioned and you feel you want to go back to that ex, you have to discuss certain things with your ex, set certain rules and make certain grounds clear. You ought to resolve the issues that made the relationship crash in the first place or they might come back to haunt your relationship.
It shouldn’t end at your ex begging for another chance, these factors ought to be considered before going back to that relationship.
ViV