7 THINGS YOU MUST KNOW IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOTHER -IN- LAW

It is common knowledge that a lot of women do not have a good relationship with their mother- in- law, and this of course, is born out of failure to build an understanding between both parties. Most women have a wrong impression of the institution called marriage. They go into marriage, seeing their (potential) husband’s family (especially his mother) as competition, Instead of an ally or friend. This is often the Genesis of a rift between them and their mother- in- law.

Your mother-in-law is not your competition, she is the mother of the man you intend to marry, and whether you like it or not, she is there to stay. She has been there even before you, so the most you can do is trying to cohabit. I understand that most mothers- in- law tend to appear difficult, but I believe that it is all born out of an attempt to protect and make sure their sons get only the best (something even you would do if you were in her position). So Instead of fighting and hating her, there is a better alternative. Love her and befriend her, and you’ll see how different things would turn out.

To help you cultivate the perfect relationship with your mother-in-law, here are a few tips you might find interesting.

1. CREATE A GOOD COMMUNICATION

Women are a bit similar — married or single, old or young, they all want the same thing, to feel loved and appreciated. Instead of distancing yourself from your mother-in-law, try to build a cordial relationship with her. Draw her close to yourself and treat her as you would your own mother. Call her as often as you can to ask after her well-being. This will go a long way in making her feel drawn to you. Don’t buy into the fallacious idea that mothers-in-law are all annoying, without getting to know your own first. Creating a good communication between the two of you is a good way to start.

2. SHE WILL CRITICIZE AND SCOLD YOU…JUST DON’T TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY

Have you ever met a mother that does not scold and criticise? They all do, if they feel the need to, but you should not take her criticisms too seriously. You must understand that all parents are protective, and sometimes, they do things that may appear wrong to us just to keep their children from getting hurt. Your mother-in-law may criticize and scold you, but it isn’t meant to spite you, really. It is only a protective measure. Also, we cannot ignore the fact that sometimes the criticism they dish out are meant to correct you. As long as you understand this, you will have a good relationship with your mother-in-law.

3. CONNECT HER TO YOUR OWN MOTHER

Connecting your mother -in- law to your own mother will help strengthen the bond between you two by bringing your families closer even more. They’re probably in the same age bracket and of course, are both mothers, so your mother-in-law would find it far easier to build a friendship with her than with you, but be rest assured that once that happens, your mother-in-law would be drawn to you the more. ‘How?’ It’s simple. Get your mother to call and visit her on occasions. And who knows?

4. ALLOW HER ALL DUE PRIVILEGES

Your mother -in- law is the same woman who bore your husband after carrying him in her belly for months. She is the one who nurtured and watched him grow into the man you met and married, so do you not think she’s entitled to getting all the appreciation your husband gives her? Be it money, clothes, cars, attention etc. Allow your mother-in-law to get it, as long as it isn’t at the detriment of your husband’s pockets (if he can afford it). Do not try to block favours from getting to her; instead, encourage your husband to give to her because you’re the one she’ll blame and fight if she perceives that she’s not being loved enough.

5. YOUR CHILDREN ARE ALSO HERS

At least, that is what she thinks. When (if) you have children, she’d want them to visit her often to spend time with her. Do not be an obstacle to that desire. Allow her easy access to your children because denying her that would make her feel disrespected. I know you love and also want your children around you, but these are some of the sacrifices you need to make to keep your mother-in-law happy.

6. SHOW HER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER SON

The reason why most mothers-in-law tend to be too protective of their sons is just because they fear that there are a lot of bad women out there, and that no one may be good enough for their son, but if you’re able to prove your love for their son to them, you can get them to be chill and fully let you into their hearts. Put their son’s interests first, and make sure they know that you would do anything to make him happy.

7. SHOW GOOD BEHAVIOR AROUND HER

This doesn’t mean you have to be disrespectful and castigate her or your husband in her absence, no, I’m simply saying you have to let her know how courteous and well- mannered you are. Some women have a habit of not knowing how to comport and behave, even around their mother-in-law. No woman would want you around her son with that sort of attitude. Learn how to conduct yourself around her. Respect her and your husband. Do the chores when you have to, and show good behaviour generally. I assure you, you’ll always have a good place in her heart.

So, ladies; not all mothers-in-law are ‘evil’, some are just a little overprotective, and just need a little ‘convincing’ to be completely free around you. And with this post, I am certain that you will have a better relationship with your mother-in-law.

Drama