Relationships are bound to have its ups and its downs and there are two rules on what to do when a relationship is at this stage; when a relationship is going fine, you only need to maintain it by doing what you both are doing that makes you both happy in that relationship but when the relationship is having downtime all you need do is ask yourself questions on two issues; what went wrong and what can be done to bring your relationship back on track.
What makes people break up in a relationship is not even lack of love most times but it is their inability to work hard in maintaining that relationship; if you are lazy to do things that would make your relationship last, then it just wouldn’t work out.
I bring you 7 questions you should always ask when you notice something is getting wrong in that relationship.
1. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAVE MADE MY PARTNER UNHAPPY?
This question shows that you have your partner’s interest at heart and that is what every relationship should be about. Asking yourself questions of what is making him/her unhappy is just the first step to solving that problem. When you SINCERELY ask yourself this question, you would most definitely get answers. When your partner isn’t happy in that relationship and you don’t ask yourself this question so you can fix that relationship, then it just shows that you aren’t ready to make it work.
2. IS IT MY FAULT?
This question shows that you are ready to make it work; it shows that you aren’t just going to do what lazy people do which is exonerate yourself from the problem going on and just put it all on your partner. Even when you feel it isn’t your fault, still ask yourself this question and try to see what you have done wrong somewhere. You are human; you must have done something somewhere.
3. WHAT CAN BE DONE?
After you must have asked yourself if it was your fault, this is the next action that needs to be taken; asking yourself what needs to be done to better your relationship. Then you think of what to do that would improve your relationship and apply it. It doesn’t end by mere thinking, application also matters.
4. WHAT DO I NEED TO IMPROVE ON?
This is one question people fail to ask themselves when they are in a relationship. One fact you need to know is that a relationship isn’t between yourself and yourself; it’s between you and another person; meaning you have your shortcomings and you should be ready to work on it. Don’t carry that bad habit into your relationship and just leave it at that, you should improve yourself. If you have anger issues, work on it; if it’s being judgmental, you should work on it too. Don’t leave your bad traits just as it is.
5. IS IT WORKING?
Well, you just have to ask yourself this question. Every profession takes an analysis of what is and isn’t working for them and relationships aren’t any different. You should find out if there have been any improvements. If it’s working, if there is an improvement no matter how slight, then you should just keep working at it. But if there is no improvement and you are sincere that you have done all you can, then the next question is inevitable.
6. DO WE REALLY FIT?
Now, this is the best question to ask after question 5 revealed that your plan isn’t working. You need to know if you guys are compatible, you need to know why your plan isn’t working. You need to know if it’s based on compatibility issues or you just didn’t execute the plan well enough. If it’s because of poor execution, then you should keep working hard at it. But if it’s compatibility issues, then you need to ask yourself the next question.
7. DO I REALLY LOVE HIM/HER?
Now this question beats every other question. The answer would reveal whether you should go on or quit. If you truly care about the person and really do want to keep that relationship above waters then keep working to get there. But if you don’t, then it’s best you leave that relationship because it’s just a waste of time. But if you are not sure, then read 9 signs that you are truly in love.
When your relationship isn’t working, there is one thing you need to know and that is; at least you contributed 1% to ruining that relationship but people don’t know that.
Cheers. Have a lovely relationship.