When you’re hanging out with that ‘special someone’ for the first time, it is common for one to make one or two mistakes due to the excitement that comes with it; however, this can be detrimental to your chances of having a 2nd date with them because it is said that first impression matter. So if you’re taking someone or going on that date, it is important that you are very conscious of every detail, and avoid the major ‘don’ts’— so you don’t ruin it for both you and your date. These are some of the common mistakes people make on the first date…
1. DON’T BRING A THIRD PARTY…WITHOUT THE CONSENT OF YOUR DATE
A date is a date, and deserves to be treated as such. It is not a gathering of family and friends where anyone and everyone is invited; it is a meeting between two people who want to know each other better, and have some fun while at it. So no third parties are allowed on your date, especially the first date. The first date is very special; it should be about you and your special someone. Bringing another person into the mix would only create an unnecessary distraction. Your first date should be about the two of you only, and no one else. Even if you unavoidably have to bring someone along, your date has to be aware of this development, so they do not get any unexpected surprises. You must tell them about your intention to bring someone along (only if you have to), and if they’re comfortable with it, fine, otherwise, reschedule or drop the extra baggage. Most people do not like meeting friends of friends so early on in a relationship. It is something that happens over time. So it is advised that you leave friends out of your first dates!
2. DON’T KEEP YOUR DATE WAITING
Before you fix a date for meeting with that special someone, it is ideal for you to check your schedule, and make sure you have no other engagements on the same day (or during the time of your meeting). This is so nothing clashes with your date and you won’t have to show up later than agreed. Remember, it is your first date, and the impression you leave your date will remain with them for a very long time. You don’t want them to see you as an unreliable person who cannot keep to time. So, you must never show up for your date late! Get prepared early enough, and leave for the venue minutes or hours before your date kicks off— depending on the distance to the meeting point.
3. WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE
Remember that you’re just getting to know this person; they’re not your ‘bestie’ or old friend that you can completely be goofy around. They’re still an acquaintance, so your utterances must be well chosen. You don’t want to start using cuss words or making bad remarks about anything. You must keep your utterances as civil and responsible as possible— unless you want to give your date the impression that you’re not decent.
4. KEEP THE CONVERSATION SIMPLE AND CLEAN (AVOID UNNECESSARY DETAILS)
I know you’re itching to know everything about your date as quickly as possible, but you need to understand that you cannot know everything all at once, and certainly not on your first meeting. People are like an encyclopaedia (even more complex), you can only get to understand them more by being with them as often as possible — not on one day. So, give it time. Let your questions to them be only on the basics; their favourite stuff, family background (but don’t dig too deep, so you don’t seem too nosy), and the like. Keep sex out of the conversation! Sex should never be a part of the discussion. You don’t want to give the impression that you’re only there for the sex, and nothing more. And oh, did I mention the Exes? Nobody wants to hear about them, so don’t even think about mentioning them in your conversations.
5. DO NOT ORDER FOOD OR DRINKS FOR YOUR DATE…THAT IS THEIR RIGHT
Funny as it sounds, it actually happens. Sometimes, the person footing the bills may decide to do the ordering so as to avoid over-spending which can be incurred if their date is allowed to order their own food and drink. This scenario is very common among the male folks, but it is wrong. If you’re not financially strong enough to sponsor a date, look for less expensive ways you can have fun and hang out with your special someone. Ordering for them is bad and totally unacceptable! I mean, you couldn’t possibly be a mind reader?
6. YOUR ATTENTION SHOULD NOT BE DIVIDED
You’re there on a date with them so you can be with them, so nothing else deserves to get your attention except them alone. Keep your phone in your pocket, and make conversation. It’s fine to answer a call if it’s very important, but you do not have to answer multiple calls. Your phone should either be switched off or put on silent mode. Face your date, and make them feel appreciated.
7. GUYS, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT TAKING HER HOME…UNLESS SHE EXPRESSLY ASKS TO
It’s common for most guys to think about bedding a woman on the first date, but this is not entirely appropriate. Like I said earlier, the first date is designed to allowed you get acquainted with each other— every other thing follows in due time. Sex is not advised on the first date because you do not know the other person’s intentions. While you’re ready to get down, the other person may not be, so unless you want to end up embarrassed/humiliated, you must drop the thought. And apart from the possible humiliation, it is a known fact that in most cases where people get down on the first date, the relationship is ruined before it even begins. So, sex has to be off the to-do-list on your first date, guys. Take her home, immediately after you’re done! Be responsible. Unless of course, she expressly asks to know your place on the same day. .
Now, those were my ‘don’ts’ for every first date. Avoid them, and see things work out just fine! Good luck, and have fun.