When men set out to propose marriage to the woman they love, only a few have doubts in their minds as to what her response will be. Oftentimes, most men are confident she’ll say, ‘yes’, but history has shown this to not always be the case. There have been reported instances of women turning their supposed ‘fiancé’ down at the mention of marriage— men who up until then were very positive.
The honest reality is that it does happen. A woman can turn your marriage proposal down for various reasons, ranging from incompatibility to a perceived lack of readiness on your part. Lots of men have been left heartbroken, and devastated by this harsh reality. Through this forum, I’ll be telling you some of the commonest reasons why men get turned down at the mention of marriage, and hopefully you learn from them and avoid the same fate that has greeted many men. Please, read on…
1. LIMITED FINANCIAL STRENGTH
No matter how much a lot of men try to downplay the importance of money in marriage, the truth will always be glaring, and that is that money is extremely important for any marriage to be successful. Heck, a lot of pre-marital relationships cannot even survive without money, how much more marriage?
As a man, you must show to your potential wife that you have the financial wherewithal to cater to the needs of your union, once it’s established. She wants to know that you can support the home when you’re finally together, without depending on her solely, and the moment she perceives that you’re incapable of doing so, she begins to have doubts over marrying you.
A lot of men are quick to label women ‘gold diggers’ and ‘treasure hunters’, but this isn’t always so. The truth is that there are a lot of men out there who cannot sort out their priorities. There is no marriage with a reasonably stable source of finance (income). No woman wants to get into a union where she has to be depressed for the rest of her life. They just want to know that you’re doing something that can put food on the table and shelter you both when you’re married. Most women are even willing to throw in some support for the union to be successful, if they’d only see a reason to. Most men have no jobs, no real source of income whatsoever, yet they want to get married. No sensible woman wouldn’t turn you down, brother.
2. OVER ATTACHMENT TO FAMILY
It’s a beautiful thing for one to love their family and listen to them as well when necessary, but they say, everything (should have) has its limits. A man who is over- attached to family, and seeks their opinion before taking every single decision in his life cannot be taken seriously by women.
Women hate dating men who cannot make their own decisions and do things their way, how much more marry them. Women want to know that you can hold your own as a man, and that you’re not easily moved (swayed) by other people. Men like this (who meet every other condition) are hardly turned down when they propose.
3. POOR SEXUAL PROWESS
Whether you like to admit it or not, a lot of women give sex almost as much importance as men because they derive just as much joy from it as we do. A man who does not know the simple basics of sex, and cannot give his woman at least, next to maximum satisfaction in bed would always find if difficult keeping her around for long. For men who lack in this department, the chances of getting a ‘yes’ to their proposal are very slim. Women are human too, they have feelings and needs; they wouldn’t want to be with someone who cannot adequately meet these needs.
4. UNWILLINGNESS TO LET GO OF CERTAIN FRIENDSHIPS
Some men claim they’re ready to settle down and get married, but when you take a close look at their lives, you’ll notice that they’re not quite ready. The decision to get married involves a lot of maturity and willingness to make sacrifices. Before you can say you’re truly ready for marriage, you must have let go of friendships that you perceive can scupper the success of that marriage; and that includes those single male friends who still lead an irresponsible lifestyle, because believe it or not, our true personalities are associated with the company we keep. Sticking to friends who lead a wayward life are likely to cast doubts on your readiness to move on to the next level of your life because she’d get the impression that you are just like them.
Also, as much as I understand that there are men who prefer women to men as friends, I have to say that having multiple female ‘friends’ can give your woman the impression that you womanize. So, if you’re truly ready to move on to the next level with your woman, before you pop that question, make sure you’ve let some friendships go. Nobody wants to be in a marriage or relationship where they feel like they have to compete with another person. You’d feel the same if you were in her position.
5. IF SHE ISN’T READY
I had to add this because the man is not always to blame every time women turn down a marriage proposal. Sometimes, it’s all on the woman.
A couple can be in a relationship, and have different goals. The man could be there for marriage, and the lady for companionship, and nothing more. If a man pops the question to a woman who isn’t prepared for marriage, he’ll definitely get turned down, and you cannot blame him for that. A woman’s lack of readiness for marriage can be influenced by age; if she feels she’s too young to get married, and has much more to explore ahead of her which could be affected by marriage (school, a career, etc). It could also be all in the mind. Sometimes, we just want to clear our heads before anything else gets attention. This is why it’s important for us as men to observe our partner, and possibly raise the subject of marriage in a discussion before we pop the question (just to be certain you’re on the same page as your woman).