Love is a beautiful thing, no doubt, and nothing beats being in a relationship with someone your heart truly belongs with. But more often than not, you notice that love isn’t always enough to keep a relationship going. Love can bring two people together in a relationship, but if they’re not mature enough and willing to put in an effort towards the continued success of that relationship, it most likely won’t stand the test of time.
In one of the editions of our ‘Elcrema Sunday special’, if you’d recall, while addressing the topic of the day, which was, ‘is the man supposed to love more for the relationship to last longer?’ (read that HERE, if you missed it), I made reference to ‘maturity’ as the most important factor in the life of any relationship. However, due to time restraints, I could not elaborate enough. So, today, I have decided to bring you a more comprehensive post on the subject of preserving a relationship.
I have put together 6 vital points to aid you on this purpose. Please, read on and learn.
1. BE HONEST AND OPEN ALWAYS
One of the major pillars of a strong and enduring relationship is honesty— your ability to be truthful about everything, and anything to your partner. But sadly, this is a virtue a lot of people lack. You cannot claim to love someone and keep secrets from them; that would only contradict your claim.
There’s absolutely no reason to lie; it is inexcusable. Even if you’ve done something so grave, telling your partner wouldn’t make them breakup with you. If they do, then they never loved you in the first place but if you keep it from them and they find out from a different source, that is when there’ll be a problem because they’ll feel betrayed and invaluable. A lot of relationships have gone down the drain due to something as avoidable as this. Always be honest and open to your partner about everything; from what you do for a living, to how much you earn, and other necessary information you feel they should know about. It’d show you truly value and consider them a part of your life.
2. KEEP COMMUNICATION OPEN
Similar to the first point, this is also very important in sustaining a relationship. When communication isn’t sufficient in a relationship both parties become automatically distant from each other, and the relationship suffers. And when the reverse is the case, the relationship thrives even more. When something bothers you, or your partner does something you do not like, call them, sit them down, and talk it out; keeping it bottled up inside won’t help neither of you nor the relationship. Be very vocal to each other about every issue because that is the only way your feelings can be known.
3. BE WILLING TO FORGIVE AND FORGET
Being in a relationship means being ready to make sacrifices and compromises… lots of them. You must know that your partner isn’t a superhuman or someone so perfect; they’re not above mistakes, uh uh. They’ll piss you off on more than 50 occasions, get on your nerves, and do things that will make you question their feelings for you, but you have to understand that they’re just humans like you. They’re not perfect; when they make mistakes and apologize (show remorse), forgive them, and move on from it.
It is important that you forget it, and don’t keep such things in your heart, because the more you think about it, the more hurt you’ll become and your relationship will suffer.
4. LET PRIDE BE FAR FROM YOU
A popular saying goes, ‘pride comes before a fall’. Pride has made a lot of people lose things that was precious to them. Pride can ruin everything good, if you give it a chance.
Most times in a relationship, you notice that one of the parties involved tends to feel superior to the other. They refuse to take advice from their partner or even apologize when they go wrong (maybe because of their gender or financial status). This isn’t right; the moment you enter a relationship with someone, they become your equal, so they have equal rights as you in the relationship. Do not be shy to take advise from them, it doesn’t mean you’re less of a person, it just means that they care about you enough to offer it.
This piece of advice goes to both parties; male and female. I’ve seen situations where the female in the relationship earns more income than the man, so she looks down on him and disrespect him. It shouldn’t be like that. Having more money than your man doesn’t make him any less a man, and shouldn’t affect your feelings for him. If anything, you’re expected to support and encourage him to be better. Do not look down on him; rather, treat him as you would if he were richer.
5. KEEP THE ‘EXES’ WHERE THEY BELONG— IN THE PAST
If you’re done with Mr/Miss A, keep it that way. Don’t go dragging past lovers into your present life and relationship, it can destroy your new relationship (Exes always have a way of doing that), and your new partner definitely wouldn’t like that.
I’m not saying it’s bad to be in good terms with your ex-lover(s), but never let them come too close. You have no business hanging out or visiting them. They shouldn’t even be a part of your social life in my opinion, because while your intentions maybe genuine, they may be harbouring destructive thoughts toward you. They may be there just to ruin the good thing you have going in your life. Exes are never happy when you are… don’t forget that.
6. NEVER COMPARE YOUR PARTNER TO SOMEONE ELSE
Comparing your partner to someone else should never happen. No one is perfect, and everyone is unique in their own way. They may not be great in every area, but they sure are great in some way — remember that. Don’t compare your partner to your Ex or friend. That would only make him/her feel inadequate and depressed. And when that happens, they may begin to avoid you. You don’t want that to happen, trust me.
I know that sometimes, people make such references harmlessly, but then, that is why you must guard your utterances, and watch what you say always. Nobody likes to be compared to someone else… especially in a negative way. Don’t be the reason your relationship ends abruptly.
So, there you have it, guys. I believe you’ve learned something valuable from this post? Thank you for your time, and bye.