Seventy-five percent of problems many couples face in their marriages are problems that could have been avoided if they had both discussed their expectations about married life before getting married.
Don’t neglect having this discussion with your partner because you think you will cross the bridge when you get there. Many couples overlook asking some of these difficult questions and regret later.
When you head into marriage ill-prepared, your chances of a divorce are high.
Below are 14 things you must agree with your partner before marriage
1. You must agree with your partner to prioritize intimacy and sex in your marriage. Discuss your expectations about sex.
2. House chores are another source of dissatisfaction in many marriages. You must agree on how chores should be done at home. Agree on how chores will be shared.
3. You must agree on the number of children you both would love to have. Don’t just assume your partner should know what you want.
4. You must agree on how involved you want In-laws to be in your marriage. Lay out your expectations up front.
5. You must agree on how to handle finances as a family. Do you combine finances or keep separate accounts?
6. You must agree on the kind of lifestyle you intend for each other as a couple. Conflicts in lifestyle among couples is another major cause of marriage dissatisfaction.
7. If both partners have a job, who is going to take care of the bills at home? Should it be the man’s responsibility to handle all the bills or should the husband and wife share the bills? This should also be agreed on.
8. Which city will you live in and what kind of house do you intend living in? There should be an agreement on this.
9. Couples also need to agree on when and how to discipline children.
10. You should agree on what your family name is going to be. You might think this isn’t a deal breaker but I know a family that had issues due to family name. The husband wanted a particular surname (his name plus his father’s name) but the wife felt she would only bear one of the names and not both. So you have to agree on the surname to avoid such issues.
11. You need to agree how you plan to spend vacations as a family. Do you expect it to be yearly or twice a year?
12. What your idea of a dream home? It’s important you and your partner share common ideas when it comes to the home of your dreams. You wouldn’t want a situation where you want a mansion as a dream home and your partner wants a simple bungalow that offers comfort. This can cause issues.
13. You need to agree on how you intend to save as a family. What percentage should be kept aside for savings?
14. All these will come to nothing if you don’t agree to make your marriage a top priority. Agree to make your marriage a top priority. You also need to agree that you will do all that you both can as a couple to strengthen your marriage.
Phil