There different phases in a marriage. The first phase is when you are newly married and how it’s just you and your partner. The second phase is when you start having kids and the third phase is when your kids are now grown.
The second phase of marriage is a very important one because there is a dramatic change between when you got married and once you have your first kid.
Below are some of the ways life changes after having kids.
1. SEX MIGHT BECOME INFREQUENT AND IRREGULAR
Many couples have attested to how sex changed after they had their first kid. When you are newly married, it’s easier to create time for sex and have sex frequently, but once the first kid comes into the picture, you would be surprised at how little sex you would have in a month.
2. ATTENTION BECOMES DIVIDED
Of course, before your first kid, your full attention would be on your spouse, but this would change after your first kid, most especially on the part of the woman as she bears most of the burden of that young child. Except there is a conscious effort to give each other a good amount of attention, attention would become scarce.
3. FRICTION COULD BECOME MORE FREQUENT
Arguments could become more frequent after kids; parents sometimes have different views on what’s best for the child and this could cause friction, and more often than not, issues come up that isn’t about the child. Apologies and gratitude are expected from both partners at this phase, but little to none is given.
4. COMMUNICATION MIGHT EVEN WANE
At the first phase of marriage, you could find pockets of time to communicate with your partner, but once children starts coming, you would observe that there would be little time for those long hours of talking and laughing — and the few times you have, you would love to rest during that time.
5. YOU FORM A NEW KIND OF BOND
In spite of the friction that might come up or the less time and attention given to each, you would form a new kind of bond with your partner. Of course, children are a gift from God and playing and caring for that newly born child would teach couples how to bond in a new way different from what they are used to.
6. YOU MIGHT EVEN HAVE MORE AFFECTION FOR YOUR CHILD
This is another common occurrence among many married couples; many partners tend to have more affection for their new child (the first child especially) than their spouses. It’s probably because of the bundle of joy that comes with being a parent.
7. LITTLE TIME TO REST
The period after having kids might be the busiest in a couple’s life; time becomes scarce and you even have little time for yourself. When the kids start coming, you would observe that more often than not, you would be sleep-deprived.
8. LITTLE TIME FOR FUN ACTIVITIES
It is easier to have fun as newly wedded couples, but the same cannot be said after having kids. It’s probably after a few years of having kids that you learn to adapt and create time to have those special and romantic or fun nights with your partner.
9. NO MORE LATE NIGHTS
Of course, this one is a certainty. It’s easier for couples to have fun and spend time out till late night with friends, but it becomes almost impossible if not impossible after having kids.
10. YOUR HOUSE CHANGES
Of course, you must accommodate your newly born child’s needs. Your concept for beautifying the house might face a twist, as kid’s toys and carriers might be scattered around different parts of the home.
These ten things are some of the changes that come after having kids; but in all, this is what makes a family and children add a different kind of joy to a couple’s life.
ViV