To many, quarrels are part and parcel of a relationship, and many believe it’s inevitable to avoid quarreling with their spouse.
However, quarreling tends to have consequences on a relationship, and if not handled properly, it could cause the relationship to suffer.
There are some important things that need to be done after a quarrel, so as to safeguard that relationship.
These questions below will help you manage quarrels better:
1. WAS IT WORTH IT?
Quarrels are emotionally draining; it’ll leave you drained physically, mentally and emotionally, and it’ll also leave you unhappy. One thing to do after a quarrel is to ask yourself if it was worth the negative energy after all. You’d be surprised to find out that no quarrel is ever worth it. Quarrels are a grievous way of trying to fix things, and it never fixes anything.
2. WAS I SELFISH?
One thing I’ve come to observe is that every quarrel between couples always has self-centeredness at the root of it. When people quarrel, they unknowingly project a message of self. When both partners want things their way, it’ll end in a quarrel. When both partners fail to see things from the other person’s perspective, it’ll lead to a quarrel.
After a quarrel, think things through without any bias and you might just see how selfish you were in the process.
3. HOW SHOULD I HANDLE THE SITUATION NEXT TIME?
There’s always a better way to do things. There’s always a better way to react, to express yourself, there are always better words to say, there’s always a better way to respond to your partner, and there’s always a better choice to make. If you take these into consideration after a quarrel, you’d observe that if things were done better, a quarrel would easily have been avoided and that heated tension wouldn’t have happened.
Don’t let a quarrel go by without learning from your mistake, as this will help in case anything like that should arise again.
If you sincerely ask and answer these questions, you’d be surprised at just how much you’d solve the issues that arise between you and your partner without stress.