Having a happy, smooth sailing relationship isn’t a gift given without work, you have to work for it, and give up something in order to enjoy that. More often than not, you find that a lot of us are not willing to leave our bad behaviour right before we get into a relationship. That is usually the start of the end of that affair.
Successful relationships are a result of two people who are willing to be mature, and put in their best to see themselves happy and moving forward. If you’re not ready to work for it, you will not have it.
Alright, let’s cut the long talk short, and quickly take a look at the negatives that ruin a relationship.
There’s not one person living that’s perfect. We all have issues with our personality. These issues will drag into our relationship with the ones we care about because we’re with them. But no matter the gravity of that offence, once a person shows remorse and a readiness to do better, forgiveness becomes necessary. Some of us are not forgiving at all, yet we want a long-lasting relationship. It doesn’t happen like magic, you can decide whether or not your relationship lives long by tolerating some of the ‘excesses’ of your partner. However, do not forget the part I mentioned forgiveness has to be a result of an obvious willingness to do better.
LACK OF TRUST
Some of us lack trust for our partner, and cause them to pay for another’s atrocities. Because one person was horrible to you in your last relationship, you condition your mind to believe that it’ll always be like that, but it doesn’t. People are different, people change. A successful relationship thrives on trust. You got to believe that your partner has your best interest at heart if you expect the same. Without trust, your partner wouldn’t be encouraged to do more.
Sometimes when a woman nags or a man complains, we simply ignore them because we think they’re just being ‘irrational’. There’s nothing irrational about a woman demanding more from her man, especially if it’s not anything he can’t do. There’s nothing irrational about a man asking to spend more time with his woman. Some of us are just too unreasonable and selfish. You can’t put work above them always. You can’t put your friends above them always. It only takes a very good listening ear to find out what the problem could be. Stop thinking about yourself always because really, it’s not about you alone; it’s a relationship.
Greed is shown when you unreasonably want much more when you already have something good. Because you have friends who live a certain lifestyle or their man splashes the cash, you start to put pressure on your own man to do the same. GREED also applies to men. You’re greedy when you have a beautiful and caring woman yet you have eyes on another. It destroys relationships.
POOR APPRECIATION OF SELF
When you condemn yourself, you kill your strength and ability by yourself. You are different from everybody else, there is a reason you are you, and they are they. Focus on yourself, love yourself, be happy with yourself, only then will you be able to build and develop yourself. The secret here is knowing that self-love and respect attract love and respect from everybody in your life and in your world.
I think that when you have money or anything else for that matter and refuse to share with your partner, it means you don’t care enough. Eventually, they’ll meet a ‘Romeo’ or ‘Juliet’ who will be different, and that would change everything.
Mind the company you keep, mind the types of material you read. See, they can mess with your head, and give you a false interpretation of what life truly is, which can directly ruin your attitude and relationship by extension.
People usually say only kids are easy to be influenced. Well, as true as that is, adults are still very much vulnerable to influences. So choose yours wisely.
LACK OF EFFORTS
You think that just because you’ve got them in your life, it’s all done and dusted, and there isn’t much to be done anymore. Sorry, but that’s not true. The work you put in a relationship to make it work never ends. You have to keep working out to look good, you have to keep dressing good, and you have to stay as romantic as in the beginning. The moment you stop doing any of those, things could change for them because you’re no longer the person they knew.
Pride is a feeling of self-respect and personal worth. We personally encourage self-love and respect, but that’s not to say we can confuse things.
In a relationship, there are some rules we must be willing to bend or eliminate completely for the greater good.
Your relationship with your dear one should not suffer so much for your pride. Pride absolutely comes before a fall. If you truly love your spouse, you should effortlessly see him or her as yourself, as your spouse is a great part of you.
There’s no room for secrets in a relationship. When you hide something from your partner, it shows a lack of trust for them, and that shouldn’t be. You must be ready to accept the one you claim to love into your life completely. You must share everything that’s there to be known, both from yesterday and today. Nobody likes to know they’ve been deceived and lied to for so long, no matter the reason.
Jealousy is healthy when you keep it checked, and you don’t allow it control you. When jealousy consumes one, it can destroy a relationship because it’ll drive you to do things out of spite and hate. Jealousy can ruin something good, and a life completely. It’s okay to want your partner all to yourself but don’t fear for nothing, don’t imagine things that aren’t there. Trust your man/woman to be respectful to you always, and things will be fine.