Divorce is an awful situation that many married couples are wary of. No one gets married with the hope of getting divorced, but these things happen.
Divorce doesn’t just come all of a sudden; it gives signs over a period of time that a marriage is heading towards divorce. Marriage therapist, Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, spent four decades studying couples at The Gottman Institute to determine what really causes a rift between couples and how to fix it.
Interestingly Dr. Gottman’s found a pattern among divorced couples – contempt. Contempt is the number one predictor of divorce. It’s normal for couples to have issues and misunderstanding, but it poses a problem which could lead to divorce when it reaches contempt. According to Gottman Institute expert Mike McNulty, PhD: “All relationships involve ongoing, perpetual problems that will resurface,” But it’s how you handle them-either with kindness or contempt-that can make or break you as a couple. “Partners who do not handle discussions of these problems well are at the most risk of divorce,” he says.
Contempt is a huge relationship killer and could easily lead to divorce if it isn’t properly handled. Partners should learn to voice their opinions without the feeling of anger and kick out grudges and counting of scores from their marriage.
This research by Dr. John Gottman really makes a lot of sense, and contempt is a huge predictor of divorce that shouldn’t be given a chance in your marriage.