It’s only normal to fumble in and out of relationships almost to the point of losing count; but it’s never an ideal situation to be in. Crashed relationships have led many to believe that there is no love out there for them.
There are certain steps one ought to take in order to have that desired love; when this is done, and you meet the special person you ought to be with, the rest would fall into place and you would forget the heartbreaks and heartaches that once existed.
1. LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF
Learning to love yourself is the first important step you ought to take if you desire to find true love. If you can’t find that love in your heart for yourself, you would hardly be desirable. Love is a magnetic force that attracts; love yourself and only then can love find you.
2. APPRECIATE THE LOVE YOU GET
In a bid to find love, people disregard the love that they get. Love is never far from you, it’s all around you and you have to appreciate it. From the love of your parents and siblings to the love of a relative, the love of friends and even the love of a stranger; don’t lose love in a bid to find love.
3. SEEK A RELATIONSHIP FOR THE RIGHT REASONS
Don’t seek a relationship because you feel it’s the right thing to do or because you’re lonely or because everyone is in one, or to get people’s approval or the need to feel complete, or because you are getting older and need someone to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t seek a relationship for fear motivated factors; seek a relationship out of love and only then can you attract love.
4. LOVE BEING SINGLE
Being single doesn’t mean your life is over; it means you have your whole life to live ahead and you have to love every part of it — with this, you would find joy, solace and happiness, and you wouldn’t feel the need for someone or something else to complete you. With this, meeting the love of your life would only be an added bonus. You’re attractive when you are happy; never forget that.
5. DON’T PLACE UNNECESSARY RESTRICTIONS
When you place restrictions on love, don’t be surprised if your love gets restricted. “I can only get married to someone of my tribe”, “I would never date someone in my workplace”; people think these are standards but they aren’t; they are restrictions that would keep you from finding the love of your life.
6. NEVER SETTLE FOR WHAT PEOPLE FEEL YOU DESERVE
You know what strikes you in a relationship and a partner, never settle for what others feel you deserve, never settle for less than what you deserve; because at the end of the day, the success or failure of a relationship is for you to enjoy or endure.
7. LIVE YOUR LIFE
Never put your life on standstill because you are looking for love. When you put your life on standstill, many parts of your life would be on hold, even your love life. Pursue dreams, work harder, go on vacations, live the best part of your life every day.
8. IMPROVE YOURSELF
You can’t go about expecting that soul mate in your life when you have certain flaws to clean up. Change yourself for the better, not for someone else to like you, but because that’s the right thing to do; you ought to be a better person always.
9. BE UP AND DOING
Love comes when and where you least expect, meaning you can’t be static and find love. Be up and doing; work, live, play and have fun…it would come when you least expect.
10. NEVER LOOK FOR ONE TO WIPE AWAY YOUR GRIEF
One mistake people make when looking for their soul mate is believing that when that special person comes, he/she would wipe away all their grieves. This isn’t what you should look for; rather look for the person who’s willing to share in your grief. Your burden becomes easier when there is someone who’s genuinely interested in sharing it with you.
I’d end with a quote by Stephen Chbosky, “We accept the love we think we deserve”.