Emotional distance is a real problem that exists not only in relationships but in marriages as well. Most times it starts gradually and keeps building till it reaches a certain height where it becomes too difficult to contain.
When you hear things like “I don’t understand him/her anymore” or “it’s like we are in two different worlds” then it’s most likely an effect caused by emotional distance.
Emotional distance is when a person gradually shuts his/her affection towards a partner — physically that person might still be in the relationship but mentally such a person has already been detached.
What really causes this emotional distance in relationships and marriages?
There is usually a thin line between having a successful relationship and an unsuccessful one, and complacency is one major reason why a relationship gets to this stage of emotional distance. If you don’t put daily efforts in feeding your relationship with love and care, if you take the love of your partner for granted or get so used to it or vice-versa then there is bound to be emotional distance in the nearest future.
2. LACK OF ATTENTION
Every relationship or marriage needs constant attention to grow; there ought to be constant growth in every relationship or marriage. When you pay too much time to work and other activities, leaving your partner in the process, there is every possibility that emotional distance could occur. Building friendship, romance and sex with your partner should never be underestimated.
Stress could also take a toll on a partner and make such a person become emotionally distant. When one become overwhelmed by work and anxiety, they might lack the resources to feed both their work and relationship strongly, so stress could actually make them shut down towards one of the two… and it might most likely be the relationship that would suffer.
Having grudges against your partner can make emotional distance build gradually in your relationship. Having grudges could gradually make you shut your heart towards your partner, and isolation could gradually step till it reaches a formidable height. Unforgiveness is a major reason why emotional distance happens in many relationships and marriages.
5. LIVING IN DENIAL
This is another reason why emotional distance occurs in many relationships. When a relationship takes a bad twist, it’s highly important to acknowledge it and put in efforts to reconcile things rather than live in denial, feeling that everything is okay. If the right thing isn’t done, the affected partner might begin to shut down gradually till the emotional distance becomes much obvious.
6. CONTINUED ABUSE
By abuse, I don’t only mean physical abuse, mental abuse could also make a partner feel estranged and shut down as a result. For example, if a partner complains to the other partner of having a constant bad habit that needs to change, but the partner keeps on with the wrong then the affected partner could possibly shut down his or her emotions.
7. ANOTHER PARTNER
It could also be that your partner is seeing another person. Sex with another person could build a certain desire for that new person, killing all your desires for your partner in the process. When a partner builds that sexual passion outside the relationship or marriage, the relationship or marriage is bound to suffer, as that partner would become shut down to the relationship.
These are major causes of emotional distance in relationships and marriages. These things don’t just happen at once, it builds gradually, and it becomes worst when it isn’t detected early; that’s why it’s important to pay daily attention to your relationship.