It’s another edition of Elcrema Sunday Love Special and the topic for today is centred on prostitution; the question we are asking all guys here is “can you marry an ex prostitute?” Please do join us in this controversial debate, feel free to share your thoughts on this one because they are always important; you never can tell who you are passing a message to. This is a very sensitive matter and everyone is entitled to his or her own beliefs. Drama and I (Shawn) bare our minds on this one; and it definitely is a classic. Last week’s Sunday Love Special was on Sex before marriage: a sin or necessary evil? You really need to check that out; controversy at its peak.
Below is just my take on the topic “can you marry an ex prostitute?”…
I know many of you out there can easily say “yes, I can marry a prostitute if she has changed her ways”. But let me ask you again “can you REALLY marry an ex prostitute?” That isn’t really the kind of question you can answer under hours talk less of minutes; I did a lot of thinking (very long thinking) before I came up with my answer to this question and NO I can’t marry an ex prostitute. You may have a different answer but this is my take on the issue and I have my reasons.
I’m going to base my answer on emotions and behavioural perspective; yes I’m a realist. First of all, it’s a known fact that men love sex; you can call it our breakfast before the breakfast (that’s if you know what I mean; laughing). It’s also a fact that elderly men in marriages cheat and tend to get tired of having sex with their wives because of the porousness of the vagina as a result of child birth and SO MUCH SEX. Now that is a wife, not to talk of an ex prostitute that has spent large sums of her life getting pounded by men with different sizes of ‘pestles’ at intervals. I’m not going to prolong on the sex matter; you surely have an understanding of what I’m talking about.
The next point that came into my mind was prestige which is a natural behavioural perspective of every man. Class, social status and prestige are traits found in every man but each having it at different levels. A man that really loves his wife takes pride in showing her off to friends and every other person he comes across; she’s his jewel and he loves her. But the question remains; can you show off an ex prostitute to friends and family? Can you live with the shame of her previous life not bothering upon you? Can you? I really need answers.
Now let’s relate it to health; how safe can you classify an ex prostitute? STD’s and STI’s aren’t really issues to shy away from; they are a real and are a big part of the society we live in. Can you have consciously and wholeheartedly have sex with an ‘ex prostitute’ of a wife? Please don’t tell me the answer because some people are generally blessed with a biased mind; keep it to yourself, but I’m sure you know the truth.
Also, families are a big part of our lives, a very big part. Now, can you boldly introduce your soon to be married ex prostitute of a wife (sorry for being blunt) to your family, telling them you want to marry her? Of course no family would support that; the next question is can you live with the victimization of your family on your marriage? Can you live without their love, their support, their care?
Finally, I’m going to ask my last question; can you trust an ex prostitute? A woman that sold sex for a living, can you trust her to give it to ONLY YOU for the rest of her life? Whether she has sex with another person or not isn’t even the issue, what matters most is your ability to trust her without discrimination. We all know that trust is a prerequisite for a solid home and a successful marriage. Even before you trust her, can you even trust yourself that you can satisfy her sexually; remember she sold sex for a living.
I don’t think there should be any moral justification to go into prostitution; you are not the only one that has passed through hard times and selling sex for a living is definitely not the only job on the street. I believe only those with a weak heart can go into prostitution (so why should I marry one with a weak heart); those with the mind of making very quick money without much work. It’s a big NO for me; I can’t marry an ex prostitute.
I can be friends with an ex prostitute most definitely but I can’t trust her for marriage. Marriage is a very complicated union, so why further complicate it.
Click below to see Drama’s (also controversial) opinion on this matter